She Speaks

I lost a dream.

By Lisa B on July 30, 2011

Have you seen it?

It was here 4 years ago.

Maybe it’s under that pile of hurt. Not chosen to write on that blog with all my friends.

Or that one. Not chosen to speak at that conference.

Possibly under that layer of jealousy. She did something I’ve been thinking of for years.

One sure thing.

God doesn’t forget. He gave me the dream of writing.

Not writing a book. Not writing magazine articles.

Just writing on my blog.

He reminded me last week at She Speaks — what my dream was.

I buried it under busyness and code.

Ignoring all of His promptings.

Now I must find it.

And know, just writing on my blog is enough when that’s what He’s called me to do.

| Filed Under: Blessings, Bloggin', Dreams, She Speaks, Writing

I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized I’ll be at She Speaks in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS! Ack. Have not even started preparing the stuff I need to get ready by then. I promised some of the friends I met up with a few weeks ago that I would post some tips. This will be my 4th She Speaks and every year God does something different. Looking forward to seeing you there!

Here’s what I’ve written before…I hope it still helps you!

Written before the 2009 She Speaks conference:

Maybe you click …

Last year [2008] I sort of organized a lunch at Chili’s the day She Speaks started. I say sort of because evidently I didn’t make the right Chili’s known to everyone — half of us were at one, half at the other. God blessed me with meeting Robin at my Chili’s. Robin has a gift ya’ll. She’s outgoing and smart and witty. She can talk to anyone about anything and has such a warm Southern spirit. She makes you feel relaxed and before you know it, you’re telling her your life story. I don’t know of anyone that wouldn’t click with Robin — but that’s because of her, not me. I pray you’ll meet at least 3 people who you click with at the conference.

Maybe you don’t click …

Over the weekend I met many ladies. I dare say I never clicked with any of them like I did Robin, but I did click with some of them. Some of them I felt so awkward around! One, who I will not name (even though I’m pretty sure there’s no way she’d ever read my blog), just said “oh, I know who you are.” That was it. I went totally out of my comfort zone and introduced myself, and that was the line I got back. She walked off and continued clicking with the other ladies there. What I’ve come to realize is that it may not be me, so I shouldn’t take it personally.

Reasons we may not click …

I’ve learned a lot about myself at BlissDom back in February. Here are some reasons you and I may not click if we meet at She Speaks. Maybe it’ll help you to look at meeting people from the other side.

1. I am a Southerner. I not only talk slow. I listen slow. Seriously. If you come up to me, introduce yourself and you get a blank stare? I may just be processing what you said 2 sentences ago. Give my brain a few seconds to catch up. I’ve met some Northerners that I really have to focus and listen. My brain has to slow down what they are saying before I can even try to carry on a conversation. If you happen to be a fast talker? Try to slow it down a little when you meet me, ok? I’ll work on listening faster, promise.

2. I am an introvert. I don’t know exactly when it happened. Maybe I have always been one but when I was a teenager I wanted to be the life of the party. I get overwhelmed easily. I know this and I am going to work in some quiet time for me and God into this conference. Instead of feeling like I’m going to miss out on something, I’m going to sit quietly and regroup before going back around people. What this also means for you who meet me also goes along with #1 above — if you come up to me and start talking and you get the “deer in headlights” look, it’s me — again trying to process everything that’s going on. That might be a good time to ask me if I need some quiet time

3. I am different. Not that drastically different — we all are similar in many ways. But maybe we don’t have anything in common. It’s possible. You may be a city girl — I’m a country girl. You? beach. Me? Mountains. You? Pepsi (yuck!). Me? Coke. That doesn’t mean that we can’t talk, but we may not click like you’ll see others do. There are going to be roughly 550 – 600 women at She Speaks (1,500+ at BlogHer). You will see ladies clicking together and forming what will be very deep, life-long friendships. You may long for that. I know I do. But for whatever reason, you and I don’t click? Don’t take it personally. Be kind and courteous and just move along to the next person.

Back row Baptist …

In all of my examples above, it was you coming up to me — did you notice? I am very happily a back row Baptist. The kind who likes to hang out behind the scenes most of the time. I may be sitting in a corner or the back row of the conference room. Don’t let that stop you from saying hey — that’s hi for you Northerners and no, it’s not just for horses! I’m going to do my best to force myself out of my comfort zone and make the first step. I’m also going to do my best to remember not to take it personally if I don’t click with someone. Maybe that person isn’t the one God wants me to develop a relationship with today. That’s ok.

One more thing …

Lots of ladies are worried about what to wear. Honestly I know She Speaks has said “no jeans” sort of thing, but I am not a fashion person at all. I am not going to remember what you wore to the conference. What I will remember is your smile. Is there hurt in your eyes or excitement? Did we click? What did we talk about? Those are much more important things that what you wore — to me anyway. I’m not concerned at all with outside appearances but with the heart of the matter. There will be tons more ladies there like me than you would think. So don’t stress it. Bring your best. God sees you. He loves you. He has big plans for you. Don’t worry about what you’re going to wear — I’m pretty sure that’s biblical

Written before the 2009 conference:

Business cards

The subject of business cards for She Speaks came up on Twitter, and I was asked for my advice. Last year I printed mine out on my ink jet printer a day or two before I left for She Speaks. I’m thankful I did. At conferences most people will have business cards to exchange. This helps get your contact information out there to people and helps you remember who you met (hopefully!). I have to admit, I have gotten some business cards for ladies I met that I don’t remember meeting. I must have been that deer-in-headlights when I talked to them!

If you are just getting started, I think it’s perfectly fine to print out your own business cards. They may not look as professional as others, but if you’re just starting out — people understand. You can also get some good quality printed cards online for a reasonable amount of money — though some places will send you 500 as the smallest package. I didn’t give out that many at She Speaks last year but that may have been because I was fairly shy Even if you are “just a blogger” I think it’s good to have a business card for your blog. You do want people to go read it, don’t you?

Information to include on business cards

I would include at least your name, blog url, and email. I do not include my address or my phone number for a couple of reasons. These are personal reasons and you may feel different — that’s your perogative

I don’t include my address because you most likely don’t need it for any reason. Seriously, all my work is done online and if you had to ship me something? I’d prefer you just shoot me an email to get my address. Kind of the same thing for my phone number. My preferred method of communication is email. I’m not saying I won’t talk to you on the phone, but if we need to talk about something that we can’t communicate through email, you can email me and we can exchange numbers. I prefer to setup a time to talk also, so the email gives us a chance to set that up. Not that I think you’d stalk me or anything, but I don’t just want my home phone floating out there — or my cell phone for that matter Of course if you Twitter, you might want to include your Twitter id as well — although if you have that linked from your blog towards the top in a prominent place, you may decide to leave that off.

Take a break

If you are like me and get overwhelmed easily (by either the number of people around you or the information you are learning), remember to take a break. I think last year I was afraid I’d miss out on some big opportunity if I went away from the crowd for a minute or two. I stayed in a separate hotel last year and even though it was right down the street, I didn’t want to miss anything by getting in my car and driving there. Just don’t feel bad if you need to sneak up to your room for a few minutes of quiet time. You’d be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel!

Remember to call home

This is a big one for me — as in, last time I forgot to do it enough. My Genius Better Half tends to let his imagination run a little wild when I’m out of town without him. He tends to think about things like me going off for dinner and being attacked. Pleasant stuff. So, I need to remember to call home and check in every now and then. It’s also good (if you have a worry-wort better half) to leave a schedule of the sessions. That way he will have an idea when you’ll be in between sessions and he can call you if you haven’t called him.

Drinks, snacks and such

As everyone knows, I am a Coke addict — I prefer it in the red-and-white can, but will take bottles happily. At the conference (with all the meals and such) you can get water, tea, and I think they even did coffee here and there. But if you need a little stronger pick-me-up in the middle of the day, there’s a little store in the lobby of the hotel where you can get important things like Coke and chocolate It was really late in the afternoon on Saturday when I found this little nugget out — I was going into serious withdrawals ya’ll!

Whatever happens … DO NOT MISS THE PRAYER ROOM! You can read about my 2009 experience here.

After the conference, you’ll probably feel a bit of a let down. Read what I mean here.

Make sure you follow me on Twitter, and give me a hug when you meet me — even if I have that deer in the headlights look

| Filed Under: Conferences, She Speaks

close my eyes

By Lisa B on August 18, 2010

It started in the ’80s. Maybe the ’90s. My memory has left me to early in life. But you know what I’m talking about. The commercials. The ones showing kids in other countries with just skin on their bones. Oh, and the flies flying around their faces. You remember. Don’t you?

I grew to hate those commercials.

Every time one would come on, I’d close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears and sing “la-la-la” as loud as I could. This was before the days of remote controls. Yes, I’m that old.

I’m a fixer. I want to fix things.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a fixer or because my heart literally hurts when I see someone hurting, but those commercials broke my heart. I was overwhelmed. They’d throw out big numbers — so many children needing food and medical supplies. I never could fix it for all of them.

So I continued to close my eyes and change the channel.

At my first She Speaks 2 years ago, there was a Compassion booth setup. I refused to look at any of the pictures. I was not going to let my heart break or feel the pain of these children around the world that I couldn’t help. My buddy Robin heard Compassion was going to send some bloggers to India, and she wanted to go. Not me. I wouldn’t even walk at to the table with her to support her. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I have never in my life had a desire to go outside the country. Ok, maybe a few times in French class I’d dream of Paris, but really? I’m a good ol’ country girl who would rather go to vacation in the mountains here than across the ocean. But this wasn’t a vacation. This was a trip to see kids who are sponsored through Compassion, kids who aren’t sponsored and how Compassion works through the local people there to share Jesus.

Technically Robin didn’t make me do it, but inspired me to do it.

Around my birthday last year, after reading about Robin’s experiences in India, I decided to sponsor a child. I sort of peeked through one half-open eye. Fingers still in my ears. I figured I did my part. I’m sponsoring a child. But really? I didn’t want to get attached. I don’t want my heart broken. Pretty selfish huh?

Fast forward to this year’s She Speaks. Same Compassion table, just a few down from the She Seeks table where I sat with my buddies. Except this time, I didn’t really have a choice but to go by the table. Our She Seeks team met with Shawna and Laura and talked about how we could help inform others about Compassion. There were only 2 thoughts that crossed my mind — one, I did not want to admit that I had sponsored a child about a year and a half ago and never written her a letter. Two, I did not want to go on a trip.

This week one of my She Seeks buddies, Shannon, and Shawna are in Columbia. Please pray for them on their trip and also check out Shannon’s blog. She’s writing stories every day. But most importantly, pray about sponsoring a child. And if you do sponsor a child? Sit down and right them a letter — TODAY. I mailed mine Friday.

Sponsor a Child

| Filed Under: Blessings, Compassion, She Speaks

She came. She spoke (a lot). She went home.

By Lisa B on August 4, 2010

And she rested.

This is my 3rd year attending She Speaks and each year has been a huge blessing in its own special way. I had signed up for sessions, but I didn’t go to any. By the time the actual conference rolled around, I was already brain-dead. I found though I was always in the place I needed to be in. I sat at the She Seeks table and helped ladies find where they were going or get them information. I had many God-conversations in the hallways where I got to meet new friends, hear their stories, and tell them part of my story. When I got home, I found I was actually energized to write again. I don’t think I’m called to write a book, an article or a poem. I am called to write online.

One of many special moments had to do with my She Seeks team. Last year before She Speaks, I agreed to work on the She Seeks website to set it up. That was essentially how I got myself and Especially Heather to the She Speaks conference.

At the time I thought I was just going to setup the site, do a little training, and then turn it over. Little did I know the plans God had for me in working on the site. I post everything that goes up — I setup the inspirational entry for Monday. Then we added a vlog every Thursday. I moderate comments and make other changes as necessary. In the beginning, I didn’t have much interest in the site because it was for 20-something women, and well, I’m not 20-something Haven’t been in quite awhile!

But the inspirational entries continued to touch my heart anyway. There is no age limit on what was written or shared in the vlogs. I got to know the other ladies on the team, and at She Speaks last weekend, I got to hang out a lot with them all.

Our team leader, Lisa Whittle, gathered us in her room and gave each one of us a present. I had the honor of going first, so I cautiously opened the box she handed me. When I opened it, there was a beautiful necklace with a silver plate (don’t know exactly what you call them but I know you’ve seen them!) with exodus 17:10-13 imprinted on it. She began to tell me a little about the verse and why she chose the verse for me. Oh did I want to bawl and I’m not a crier ya’ll!

¹⁰ So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. ¹¹ And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. ¹² But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. ¹³ So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

During a time where I’ve been praying for God to use my talents, gifts and abilities where He would like to see them used, Lisa told me that I was their Aaron — I am their support. I hold their hands up so they can do the work God’s called them to do.

Confirmation I am right where God wants me to be.

| Filed Under: Blessings, She Speaks

Failure to communicate

By Lisa B on July 22, 2010

“What we have here, is a failure to communicate.” – Cool Hand Luke

This pretty much sums up how I’ve felt the past 2 months. Good grief. I just logged in here and it was exactly 2 months yesterday the last time I posted here.

Mom must be mad with me because she hasn’t even called to see if I’m still alive. This blog was her way of keeping up with what was going on in my life.

The truth is, I haven’t felt compelled to write here. Whether it’s Satan attacking me (no one reads your blog any more) or just too much softball (never being at home), I just haven’t written here.

I have been keeping busy lately helping some of my favorite Proverbs 31 Ministries ladies out with different techie issues. Did you know Lysa TerKeurst moved her site to WordPress? It’s beautiful with a capital B! I didn’t design it but I’m helping maintain it and handling hosting issues and such. I helped LeAnn launch She Cooks which is totally hilarious to me because I’m the Queen of Drive Thrus. There are others I’ve been helping and another site I’m trying to get up and running before next week. Because next week … is She Speaks.

Ya’ll. I can’t believe it. Seven days from now I’ll be in Concord helping behind the scenes to get prepared for She Speaks. I just ordered my business cards. Oh yeah, that reminds me. I’ve got another site to get up and running before next week – mine.

In preparation for next week though, I figured I’d better log in here and write something no matter how much choppy it is

There’s some stuff I want to share with my She Speaks buddies for next week but instead of rewriting stuff, I’m just going to link to my old posts. Still good info

Maybe you click. Maybe you don’t.

She Speaks Tips

This could be the most important one you read. If this is your first time at She Speaks, DO NOT MISS the Prayer Room!

I’ve started a She Speaks 2010 page for you to link up your blog and your Twitter profile if you are going to be at She Speaks next week. This will help you get to know some of the other gals going and possibly make some connections beforehand.

If you’re there, come visit me at the She Seeks table or find me. If I look like a deer caught in headlights, just give me a hug and say “bless your heart.” Give me a minute to process what you say — especially if you talk fast. I’m a true southerner … slow brain and all!

| Filed Under: She Speaks

She Speaks 2009: Bloggy Purpose

By Lisa B on August 25, 2009

I want to thank my Christian buddies who attended BlogHer for commenting on my Differences post. I would absolutely love some more feedback — so if you are a Christian and you attended BlogHer, please go leave a comment on your perspective.

Knowing your bloggy purpose is very important

One of the sessions I attended at She Speaks was given by the two absolutely adorable sisters, Emily @ Chatting at the Sky and The Nester at Nesting Place. They gave a great presentation with a lot of great advice. There were lots of great nuggets of advice, and I tweeted what I could. Here are some of my tweets during that session:

If you try to have a blog to please everyone, you won’t. You’ll be able to deal with criticism.

When someone comes to your blog, you want them to know what to expect. Ragu ads don’t go with furniture

Don’t get caught in trying to keep up with others – post when you want about the thing that makes you come alive

RT @dcrmom: “I’m not a person who loves to write. I’m a person who loves what I write about.” {brilliant} @thenester

Do you need some “space for your soul to breathe?” Check out @skychatter ‘s blog: http://chattingatthesky.com

For writers: http://encouragingwordsforwriters.com Awesome blog from Bonita (who’s here)

What we build, we have to maintain. {Bonita’s encouraging words for writers}

Are you getting tons of email? Maybe you can take them and use them as blog posts. Info on site might cut down on email.

Have a writing session and write multiple posts – schedule them to post in the future. Don’t feel forced to write every day.

Protecting your family on the Internet. Recommended from fellow attendee: http://bit.ly/e3md4

When Nester shared about the Ragu ads, I had to laugh. She knows interior design, furniture, and how to make stuff even if it’s not perfect. She’s not a cooking blog so Ragu ads really don’t go with furniture. But if she didn’t really understand the purpose of her blog, then she might have just ignored that.

Purpose?

{I first wrote the following on April 28, 2008. Amazingly, I made sense back then!}

To be completely honest, I don�t like the word �purpose� very much. Purpose is defined as an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. That scares me. Most of the time when I anticipate good things happening, I�ve been let down. So I lower my expectations which is not a good thing either. But the thing that scares me the most is the fear of failure. I am afraid to define a purpose, let it guide my actions and then fail to meet that purpose.

Most of us have probably heard the following scripture:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

The 2 verses that follow Jeremiah 29:11 are relevant also:

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” — Jeremiah 29:12, 13 (NIV)

Whether you have a blog already or you want to start one, the best advice I can give you is to find your bloggy purpose.

Pray: Ask God what purpose and plan He has for your blog. Here are some questions to ask Him when you are developing your purpose:

Is that purpose to keep in touch with family who are far away?
Can you use the blog to subtly share your faith with others like unsaved family?
Can you share some knowledge you have to help others (homeschooling? crafts? fashion?)?
Are you going to use your blog to make money?
Do you want your blog to be an online ministry?

That last one is a doozy to answer! When I started simply His, it was a way for me to keep in touch with family and friends. I honestly did not want to subject them to ads here and there so I could make a few dollars. It was not worth it. There�s nothing wrong with making a little money to help support your family, but there is a fine line you must be sure you want to cross. Blogging is about building a community. Be respectful of your readers. Treat them as your friends. If you would recommend a product to your friend, then do so on your blog. Don�t recommend stuff just to try and earn some money. Remember what your Bloggy Purpose is! When your Bloggy Purpose comes from God, answers to these questions will become quite clear.

{other She Speaks posts}

| Filed Under: Bloggin', Conferences, She Speaks

What I’m missing in conferences

By Lisa B on August 17, 2009

I certainly didn’t want to offend anyone with my comparison of BlogHer and She Speaks. They are really like comparing apples and oranges. Certainly there are Christians who went to BlogHer and didn’t lose their testimony. I want to thank all my Christian bloggy buddies for chiming in about BlogHer as well — thank you for your perspective! To me, if you need filled up inside, then She Speaks is for you. You will meet God there in a very real way. If you are filled up and want to learn more about blogging, then BlogHer would be the way to go. It all greatly depends on why you blog and what you’re looking for.

Last week I started a couple of different posts on Bloggy Purpose. Emily @ Chatting at the Sky and Nester @ The Nesting Place gave a wonderful session at She Speaks on Defining and Refining Your Blogging Purpose. I have so many good notes from them and I also have so much to say myself — that I couldn’t write comprehensively last week. Oh, I was procrastinating on balancing the books here too — so God mixed up my words I think

Hopefully this week I’ll go into greater details about Bloggy Purpose but if you don’t know yours, then please start praying about it now. It may take awhile for you to figure it out, but once you do — your decisions will be much easier. Like Nester said her blog is about “it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” She went to her blog one day and saw a picture of a beautiful sofa next to a Ragu ad. There’s nothing wrong with Ragu — it just didn’t go with the sofa or the purpose of her blog. So she took off the ads.

What I’m� missing

I’ve been to She Speaks and I’ve been to BlissDom. The things that I’m missing from these conferences (whether they are at one or the other or missing totally) have to do with those ladies who blog for ministry. Whether their ministry is to their family and keeping in touch over long distances or whether their ministry is in their writing, ladies want to get together with other ladies who get them. They want tips on how to write blog posts better. They want to know a little about the technical stuff — enough to float a picture over here or there. They want to make their blogs better for themselves. These ladies aren’t interested in stats, pr people or free products. They don’t want ads on their blogs to take away from their writing. They aren’t even looking for a book deal — they just want to write.

She Speaks is actually the closest I’ve come to this, but all their writing sessions had to do with writing for magazines or publishing a book. Quite frankly, the price is steep for the conference. I totally don’t mean to scare you off here as I totally believe if God wants you there, He’ll make a way for you to be there. But the conference is geared more towards professionals or want to be professionals. What about the mom blogger who just wants to blog better? Who wants to catalog memories for her kids to read one day? The one who’s on a seriously tight budget and always buys stuff for her family before herself?

I had the privilege of talking with Amy Bayliss for a few hours on Friday (she’s the one I blurted out to over lunch the last day of She Speaks). She and I have similar hearts. We want to see women share their stories online. We want to see them be confident enough to not let technology get in the way. I’m so blessed to have spoken to her for so long because even as I rambled along to her, I started getting a clear picture of what I want my blog to be — what I want to write about, what I want it to look like around here. I’m also blessed that Amy and I are going to start working together. Perhaps we will be able to build an online conference for those ladies I feel are being left out — overlooked. Perhaps we can even develop a conference IRL (in real life) because I think there’s a lot to be said for actually reaching out and squeezing a neck or two

What kinds of things would you like to learn about at a blogging conference?