Duck and I met with both of Doodle’s teachers yesterday. Just to keep it simple, I’ll tell you that Ms. Teacher has her for Science/Social Studies and Mr. Teacher has her for Language Arts/Math. We stayed and talked for about an hour. When we left we kind of just looked at each other and asked “what did you get out of that?” Unfortunately the things we both got out of the meeting were not all that great. Well, some of it was great — some not so great.

Ms. Teacher, we’ve both decided, is a twit. Duck asked her where she primarily teaches from because we were concerned with the orientation of Doodle’s desk. Her response? “I’m all over the room.” Well, no wonder my child can’t pay attention to you if you’re all over the place. I’m sure she didn’t mean constantly walking around all over. Perhaps she teaches a little from one area then moves to another. Anyway, we requested that she be moved so she’s at least looking into the room and not out the window (if she’s sitting properly at her desk).

I inquired as to why they sit the kids in those groupings. They both said it was to share materials. Evidently they have limited magnets and such, so they sit the kids in groups so everyone can share the materials. Oh, and it’s easier for them to be in groups all the time than to have them move into groups every time they are learning about the materials they need to share. Ms. Teacher didn’t seem to think that the seating arrangement had anything to do with the lack of focus. She insisted that she’s made it clear to all the kids that they can in fact get up and move to one of the tables if they need to see better or if someone is distracting them. But seriously, how many 4th graders are going to draw attention to themselves and move themselves to a table? Not my 4th grader.

Mr. Teacher expressed similar opinions to us. He’s noticed some changes in behavior (not just Doodle) and lack of focus with the kids seated in groups. He said after his class finishes with these materials they need to share, he’s probably going to move them back into a U-shaped layout so they can all be focused on him.

Ms. Teacher was trying to hurry us through this meeting and understandably so — there was another mother waiting outside the door. We had requested that a Student Education Plan be developed for Doodle at the beginning of the year. Last year was so bad, that we wanted to try and do everything would could to make sure she’s learning what she needs to be throughout the year. Ms. Teacher rambled through some lame checkpoints on this SEP (we didn’t really know what it was going to be). Afterwards Duck and I discussed how all of those checkpoints were really just things that a teacher needs to be doing anyway — so it’s pretty much a waste of paper, time, and money.

Mr. Teacher on the other hand, wanted to tell us all about how Doodle was doing in his class. He stated several times that he was very surprised at how well she was doing — getting mostly As and high Bs. He was, I think, confused that we had wanted this meeting. He seemed to be more laid back than Ms. Teacher which is a good thing. He said he’d noticed some distraction from Callie but not that much.

Doodle got in trouble the other day during a Science project. She was evidently chasing this boy around the room. This does not surprise me as she doesn’t take any junk from boys What does surprise me is what I found out about Ms. Teacher. She explained to us that a student had to alert her to the fact that Doodle was chasing this boy around the room. What? Why does a student have to tell you that? Should you not be aware of what’s going on in your room? And the discipline — or so she thinks — for Doodle and the boy were to give them a zero on the project (she told us it was a pass/fail kind of thing — if you tried it, you passed). Oh, then they had to sit at different tables and do textbook work. Why, I don’t know. But I do know that Doodle has no concept of grades yet. We’re working with her on that. But that zero did absolutely nothing to her. The thing that did was probably having to write a note to Duck and me.

Mr. Teacher on the other hand wanted to show us a story Doodle had written in class that day. He said that he noticed her and a few other students had really messy writing. He gave them a mechanical pencil to try and that’s what he was showing us. Her writing was awesome with the mechanical pencil vs what she had been trying to write with a normal pencil. A world of difference. Yes, we went to Staples last night and bought a bunch of mechanical pencils

So basically, Mr. Teacher is extremely happy with her progress and the work she’s doing. Ms. Teacher would like to see some focus — which none of us know how to “fix” or help really other than staying on her to focus — which we can’t do because we aren’t with her all day long. Evidently I got a little too worked up over all the negativity on Doodle’s progress report from Ms. Teacher. Everything seems to be hunky-dory.

Oh, and she’s #10 on a waitlist to get into a local charter school. She’s moved up 21 spots!

Thanks for those who tweeted and commented on my letter to Public Education. I was letting out some frustration and felt better. No, Mom, Doodle’s teacher probably doesn’t read my blog — at least I don’t think anyone at the school reads my blog.

I’m not going to get into a big rant again, but here’s some highlights of things that have just come to light the past few days:

• a fellow classroom mom asked me if we’d started on a map project due in 2 weeks — um, no. Knew nothing about it. Doodle knew nothing about it.
• forgotten Math book at school means carrying everything in desk home today
• carrying everything in desk home today almost broke her back
• having everything home means finding the paper that was supposed to come home 3 weeks ago about map project — in her morning work folder
• found note saying Doodle got a zero for some project because she was playing around with another student and had to do text book work instead
• realized that the seats in her “other” classroom are no longer in a U-shape but in clusters as well

Duck and I have a meeting with both her teachers tomorrow afternoon. Grandma’s saving the day by taking Doodle off somewhere so we don’t have to worry about her overhearing anything that could be permanently damaging. I don’t think that teacher has any idea what she’s in for — I’ve got a gazillion questions. Hope she’s scheduled enough time to answer them all.

Dear Ms. Teacher,

I realize you are doing the best you can and perhaps your training is to blame. I know you are underpaid and I would not have your job. The system is failing us all. I’m not quite sure where it all went wrong. Granted I have not been in 4th grade in 26 years, but come on?

I need help understanding a few things. Why do you have the desks arranged in clusters? How is my daughter supposed to pay attention to you giving directions at the front of the class when her desk is facing another child’s desk? And, on top of that, there are 3 desks to her left – meaning those 3 children when looking straight ahead are staring at the side of my daughter’s head? How dare you write home to tell me my daughter fidgets and doesn’t pay attention when she isn’t even facing you in the class?

When I was in school, we sat in rows. No desks were touching. We all faced the front where the teacher taught. It was obvious when we peeked at other kids’ work, but we weren’t tempted nearly as much as kids today. Even if my daughter was looking straight down at her work, with another kid’s desk pushed next to hers, I would expect her to look up when that kid moved.

Our children live in a fast-paced world. They play video games instead of running outside. They are used to watching movies on demand and clicking through websites. More times than not, their dinners come from drive-thrus. When you stand up front and lecture the kids, are you keeping this fast-paced life in mind? Do you know what you need to say and say it directly? powerfully? Are you using all the tools available to you to hold their attention?

You do realize that school is not a group activity, right? It’s my daughter taking the test. It’s my daughter who needs to know the answers. So why do you put her in a group to do work? Is the smartest kid in the group supposed to teach the others? Isn’t that your job? How do you judge the work my daughter did in the group? Do you even know whether she spoke a word?

Changing classes has been interesting, but again there are a few things I don’t quite understand. Why is she not allowed to take her backpack with her? It would make sense to me that a backpack would help her carry her books and folders for that class, not to mention she wouldn’t forget things in the other class or forget to bring them home. And speaking of homework, she said she’s not allowed to take her homework folder to the other class. What’s up with that? What’s the purpose of a homework folder if you can’t put your homework from all your classes in it?

Further issues with homework include the word “study”. My daughter does not know how to study. Is that your job to teach her or mine? And for goodness sake, when you do tell her to study, give her some kind of sane study guide. Otherwise I have no idea what to drill her on. Realize that she probably wasn’t paying attention to you in class, and that studying at home is actually learning everything as if it was the first time she heard it. When you think a homework assignment should take 30 minutes, for us, chances are it’ll take 2 hours — and that’s just for the one subject you teach her.

Please don’t take this as being really negative or putting you down. I am trying to figure out what in the world you are thinking. I appreciate you trying to teach my daughter responsibility as we are working on those same issues at home. Tell me though, what’s her punishment for not turning in a paper? Grades mean absolutely nothing to my daughter right now. Threatening to fail her or have her repeat the grade doesn’t even mean anything to her. She doesn’t care. She hates school — well, except for recess.

What’s her punishment for forgetting a book in the other room? That she doesn’t have it with her to do her work during class? So what? That she has to do it as homework? That’s punishment for me not her. Give her the 2 minutes to go back to the other room and get her book. There’s a better chance she’ll pay attention in class.

Sending home a note half-way through the first quarter telling me she’s not paying attention, has poor classroom participation skills, and a messy desk is not helping. We have talked to her about doing better until we are blue like Smurfs. I’m not sure what you would like from us. Would it help if I came to school with her and made her pay attention to you? I surely hope not. Because the amount of stuff ya’ll expect them to learn at this age is ridiculous. I graduated college, and I put my time in. I’m not looking to do it again.

Hopefully we can come to some kind of understanding — maybe even develop a plan for educating my daughter. She really is a bright child. May I suggest starting with arranging all the desks in rows facing the front?

Signed,

A Very Frustrated Mom Blogger

PS. I know my dear friend, Julie, will be reading this shaking her head. Homeschool her. Homeschool her. Homeschool her. I hear ya Julie. I really do. I just don’t see that happening right now. Maybe soon the way things are going, but not right now.