Well, surprise, surprise, surprise

{think Gomer Pyle when you read the title because that’s how I sound}

I’ve mentioned here before that I am the Techie Girl over at She Seeks (a division of Proverbs 31 Ministries targeting 18-29 year old women). Now, I have to tell you, I love my P31 peeps to death, but really I had no idea why God has me working on a site targeting this age group. I’m so not in that age range any more, and really? I don’t feel like I have anything to offer up but my techie skills.

But last week I sent an email to Lisa W. who is the team leader of She Seeks and we started talking about Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I know it’s over, but I’m still talking about it. I’m talking about it over at She Seeks today.

That makes me nervous and feels really funny. This is the first time I’ve officially written something for someone else that will be somewhere else other than the ramblings of this blog. Years ago when I made the statement on this blog that I am a writer, I don’t think I even dreamed of writing for another site like this.

I remember what it was like when I was in that age group. Even though I’m older, I’m still getting good stuff through the devotions over there and I think you will too.

Go check it out. If it sucks, I give you complete permission to lie to me ๐Ÿ˜‰

PS. Duck so didn’t listen to me. He brought home a dozen red roses for me and a red rose for Doodle. He says he never agreed to the deal I thought he had — I realized I was just talking and he never said one way or another. I love you Duck but you’re hard-headed ๐Ÿ˜‰

Sex Ed on the way to Chick-fil-a

Warning: This post may contain some language not suitable for young eyes or old hearts. Please don’t judge me. Had I thought ahead, I would have asked advice before I got sucked into this conversation. I had done pretty good {until now} avoiding answering many of these questions.

Me: Where did all these people come from and why are they in front of me turning left?

Doodle: God made them.

Me: Well, He didn’t have to put them all right here in front of me.

Doodle: He didn’t put them all here. He put them in the hospital.

Me: You know not all babies are born in the hospital.

Doodle: Oh I know! On Airbender, Katara helped deliver a baby and {some other character} made a hut and {miscellaneous details about the cartoon that I forget} but he probably would have fainted if he’d seen Katara cutting her stomach open and moving around the intestines to pull the baby out.

{Side note: whenever we’ve talked about when Doodle was born, we’ve told her that the doctor had to cut my stomach open and get her out. As the story progressed and Duck shared that he was a little faint feeling when he saw the insides of me that he never should have seen … I had to explain to Doodle that those were my intestines most likely moved out of the way so the doctor could get to her.}

Me: Not all babies are born like that.

Doodle: So does God just make them and put them in the stomachs?

Me: Um, no. It takes a man and a woman to make a baby.

Doodle: So what? The man and woman just make a baby and then she eats it?

Me: Um, no. A woman has a part in her body called a uterus and that’s actually where the baby grows — not in the stomach.

{Doodle’s looking at me with a surprised look.}

Me: Well, it’s close to the stomach. So it’s just easier to say stomach a lot of times.

Doodle: So it looks like you’ve eaten a ton of popcorn?

Me: Yeah, something like that.

Doodle: How are they born?

Me: Um, well, you actually have two holes down there. You know, where your pee comes out? Well, there’s another hole and that’s how most of them come out. Technically the other hole is called a v8g1n8 (8’s for a’s and 1 for i’s – trying to cut down on nasty auto comments).

Doodle: How’s the baby get up there?

Me: Um {notice a pattern here?}, well, inside the uterus there are eggs.

Doodle {jaw dropped, eyes wide}: I didn’t know women laid eggs.

Me: Um, well, it’s not like a woman is going to lay eggs in a nest like a chicken.

Doodle: or a bird. So what’s the man got to do with it?

Me: Um, well, he’s got what are technically called sp3rm. That has little tails and they swim to the egg and fertilize it. Then the egg/baby starts growing in the uterus.

Doodle: What about the cord? Isn’t that how the baby gets fed?

Me: Yes, the cord develops and kind of hooks into the uterus to get food from the mommy and pass it along to the baby.

Doodle: How does the sp3rm get to the egg?

Me: Um, well, God gave a husband and a wife the gift of sex. That’s so they can have a family. Have you heard that word before?

Doodle: Yeah, on George Lopez. They said they found out their 16-year-old daughter was having sex.

Me {my turned to be totally shocked and looking up how to block that show from ever being on our tvs again}: Um, well, you know that thing that boys have that you call a “peter.”

Doodle: or a weiner?

Me: Yeah, that. Um, well, that’s technically called a p3n1s. A man puts his p3n1s with the woman’s v8g1n8 and that’s what sex is.

Doodle: Yuck! You mean they put them together? I’m in no hurry to grow up!

Me: That’s great!

*** Hours later ***

Doodle: I can’t believe I used to be an egg! Why do parents wait so long to tell kids how they were made?

Me: Because it’s kind of a sensitive subject — one that we just don’t talk about until you’re old enough to understand it.

————–

I so totally can’t even believe I wrote this out. Duck said I should blog about it because one day Doodle would appreciate reading it. I’m not so sure. I think she’ll be totally embarrassed, but it’s here. At least I’ll remember. Or at least I’ll remember as much as I remember when I wrote this out — it’s not exactly the way the conversation went but you get the jist. I’ve been really good at avoiding her questions until today. I know she’ll have more and I pray God gives me the wisdom to teach her well.

I honestly don’t remember when or where I learned. See, they say around these parts that the boys and girls were separated in 5th grade. I was in 5th grade in West Virginia, and we were considerably behind academically. I’m sure this probably includes this education as well. We moved here when I was in 6th grade and I don’t remember education until Health class in 9th grade.

Knowing that this is coming up in the next year (Doodle’s finishing up 4th grade right now), I did want to have the conversation with her — I just didn’t have a clue how to have it. In the car on the way to Chick-fil-a is so NOT how I thought it would happen though. If any of you have any tips or resources on a Godly way to share this message with kids, I’d greatly appreciate the references.

God knows I’m scared to death I’ve already scarred her for life as it is. I don’t want to mess her up worse! ๐Ÿ™‚

Top Post of All Time

I know many other bloggers do this occasionally — pull out posts from their archives or look at the search terms used to find their blogs. Well, for me the top post is related to the search term ๐Ÿ™‚

The most viewed post on this blog was posted over 2 years ago simply titled Matthew 6:33-34. Looking over the search terms used to find this blog, these verses were in the majority of the searches. People looking for a devotion or the meaning of these verses. I am humbled that what I wrote 2 years ago is still being read by strangers. I pray that it blesses you today as I bring it back to light. I know I needed to read it again.