Being a light to those God places on my path
Hey y’all,
Seems like my posting here has been non-existent. (Sorry Duck! I know that’s how you keep up with me!)
I have come up with a new design and I’m going to take this weekend to remodel around here. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and come back to see me next week to check out the new digs!
And if you happen to have a smart phone or iPad, I highly recommend you check out this free app to help count your blessings!
I don’t say that to brag, or to have people pump me up. It has its downsides too.
I wanted to clarify something I wrote yesterday (I don’t think very highly of myself).
Duck…Mom…I didn’t mean to hurt your hearts. There are lots of thoughts running through my head and sometimes they aren’t very pretty — that’s just the truth. The other part of the truth is those lies come from the devil. (Mom, you can’t take any responsibility for that!) The ones that whisper who do you think you are to want to talk to Ann? You don’t have anything to offer her. Best just leave her alone.
In truth, I let those thoughts talk me out of meeting her and it’s entirely possible I missed out on a blessing from God. I do that sort of thing a lot when I’m not doing my quiet time or reading God’s word. I become lazy in focusing on the Truth and fall for the lies.
Duck and I had a great conversation last night. He told me how much he loved me and how I’m beautiful on the inside as well as the outside — “you have a heart of gold” he said. I needed to hear him say those things to me — to remind me — but it was also a little uncomfortable for me to receive those words.
You see, I’m a giver. My comfort zone is in giving. I would much rather give something than to get something. I want to help people, and I feel uncomfortable at time receiving even money for my work. I have been working on that and getting better 
When I was talking with Duck last night, I realized that in my head, I was helping Ann by not going to talk to her. I was helping her get to her hotel room and sleep a few minutes earlier by not having to meet me or talk with me. That way of thinking is so engrained in me.
God’s been working on me though to get me out of my comfort zone of giving and wants me to receive His blessings and be thankful for them. So I’m continuing with my thankfulness!
10. awesome parents who I have always known love me no matter what I do
11. a warm hug and encouraging words
12. a daughter who actually said thank you this morning for her breakfast
13. listening to Duck help Doodle with homework
14. sweet comments from online friends I haven’t heard from in awhile
15. Sudafed
16. grocery store where we can get food to prepare for the storm coming
17. cooler weather signaling my favorite time of the year
18. Cokes
I heard many talk about this great book One Thousand Gifts – how it’s a must-read, awesome, wonderful, great, life-changing…but no one ever said what it was about really — other than being thankful.
Many commented on the wonderful, artistic style of writing. The author, Ann without the fanciful “e” stirs many hearts in her writing. What did she do? Write out all 1,000 gifts in the book? Is she just listing stuff to give us ideas of what to be thankful for? To show us the right way to do it?
I heard Ann speak at the She Speaks Conference and it was…different. Soul-stirring. Humble. And she sat in the hallway until the very last person who wanted to meet her could talk to her. I was in awe. I didn’t want to meet her, to take up more of her time, and I didn’t fully realize until now why. I don’t think very highly of myself.
Who am I to want to meet her? What would I say? I’m quite sure I would not be able to say anything of impact — nothing that would change her life for the better. What could I offer her that those other people in line couldn’t? I would just be another face in the crowd.
I was further intrigued by her book so I bought it. When I started reading it, I was drawn in fully. My brain had a hard time adjusting to her writing — it kept wanting to add words I felt she left out. I understood exactly what she was communicating, and I wondered how many times I add in words that are better left out.
I am only a few chapters in, but it is a good read. Being thankful for the little things helps keep your heart in tune with God and not caught up in complaining about all that’s wrong.
This post has been on my heart and in my mind for a few week’s now. How fitting that I am making the time to post it on a Thursday. I used to post Thankful Thursdays every week way back when I was writing more. There’s no better time to start back than today. But being thankful shouldn’t be limited to Thursdays. Think I’ll go buy me a pretty little notebook and start writing my one thousand gifts. I may share some here but some may be too personal. I encourage you to share some things you are thankful for today.
1. a wonderful, healthy, loving husband/best friend
2. a wonderful, healthy, sometimes loving/sometimes hormonal daughter
3. made bed
4. clean, organized, painted closet
5. raindrops on motorcycle windshield
6. a little kitten who cuddles next to my leg while I work
7. controlled allergies for said kitten
8. comfy bed and full night’s sleep
Have you seen it?
It was here 4 years ago.
Maybe it’s under that pile of hurt. Not chosen to write on that blog with all my friends.
Or that one. Not chosen to speak at that conference.
Possibly under that layer of jealousy. She did something I’ve been thinking of for years.
One sure thing.
God doesn’t forget. He gave me the dream of writing.
Not writing a book. Not writing magazine articles.
Just writing on my blog.
He reminded me last week at She Speaks — what my dream was.
I buried it under busyness and code.
Ignoring all of His promptings.
Now I must find it.
And know, just writing on my blog is enough when that’s what He’s called me to do.
When this week started out, I thought of all the normal things I’m very thankful for …
… my home, no matter how dirty, keeps me warm and dry
… food, that I’m not going hungry
… freedom, the freedom we have in America is something some take for granted
But today I’m thinking about what I’m really thankful for the most … and that’s life.
I’m thankful for …
… the life behind every one of the Twitter avatars that come up in my stream. Some of you I have never even met in person, but each of you have touched me in one way or another.
… the life behind every one of the Facebook pictures that I’m friends with. Most of you I’ve met and yet, you still want to be my friend.
… the life of my closest Skype buddies who I’ve yet to meet. Y’all are a great support to me when I feel like pulling my hair out.
… the life of all my Proverbs 31 Ministries sisters. I’ve just recently become really involved with this ministry and every one of you have welcomed me into the fold with open arms and most importantly prayers.
… the life of every one in my family. From parents, in-laws, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, great-neice, great-nephew, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents — even the ones who have passed from this world. They’ve all had an impact on who I am right now.
… the life of Duck and Doodle. Duck is my best friend, my provider, my caretaker. Doodle is my best daughter who’s growing up too quick. She’s beautiful, smart and artistic.
… the life God saw fit in talking me out of taking 7.5 years ago. If it weren’t for His love, there are many of you I would not know today.
most importantly, I’m thankful for …
… the life of Jesus and that He would give up His life for me is sometimes unbelievable. I am so unworthy. I went to Women of Faith a few weeks ago with my best friend from college and her mom. It was a great weekend of reflection and catching up on 16 years worth of life. Looking back at how I was when she and I hung out, all I could think was I’m a totally different person now. Jesus is that difference and I’m eternally grateful for that.
I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. May you remember everything that you have to be truly thankful for in this life. Please feel free to share what you’re thankful for in my comments area. I love y’all.
I sat here wondering what to write. I went back and read what I wrote on our 12th anniversary and our 13th anniversary. I was really sappy on the 13th anniversary, but I still feel that way about you Duck. I love you with all my heart and soul. I’m amazed at the blessings God gives us just in our relationship and growing us closer and closer. I miss you when you go to work and I dream of the day when we can sit all day in rockers on our front porch overlooking the mountains.
I know you feel like you need to buy me something, but honestly the vacation we just took was all I needed for our anniversary. It was awesome to get away and relax — even getting to relax Sunday watching football all day even if you did beat me in Fantasy Football!
I love you very much and I hope you have a wonderful day I look forward to listening to you sing tonight at the church revival service.
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To everyone else – I highly recommend unplugging, especially if you are an addict like me. The mountains did me a world of good. I feel like I’ve been restarted! I didn’t take many pictures – at least not as many as I had planned. I’ve got scooped back up in work though and haven’t downloaded them off the camera yet.
Thanks to everyone who threw up a prayer for us, asked about our vacation and covered for us while we were gone. I hope to post more about our trip later this week, but who knows. The unplugging thing might just happen at night when it should be family time.
Anyway, we’re baaaccckkkk! And I’m plugged in again – for a little bit anyway 
It started in the ’80s. Maybe the ’90s. My memory has left me to early in life. But you know what I’m talking about. The commercials. The ones showing kids in other countries with just skin on their bones. Oh, and the flies flying around their faces. You remember. Don’t you?
I grew to hate those commercials.
Every time one would come on, I’d close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears and sing “la-la-la” as loud as I could. This was before the days of remote controls. Yes, I’m that old.
I’m a fixer. I want to fix things.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a fixer or because my heart literally hurts when I see someone hurting, but those commercials broke my heart. I was overwhelmed. They’d throw out big numbers — so many children needing food and medical supplies. I never could fix it for all of them.
So I continued to close my eyes and change the channel.
At my first She Speaks 2 years ago, there was a Compassion booth setup. I refused to look at any of the pictures. I was not going to let my heart break or feel the pain of these children around the world that I couldn’t help. My buddy Robin heard Compassion was going to send some bloggers to India, and she wanted to go. Not me. I wouldn’t even walk at to the table with her to support her. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I have never in my life had a desire to go outside the country. Ok, maybe a few times in French class I’d dream of Paris, but really? I’m a good ol’ country girl who would rather go to vacation in the mountains here than across the ocean. But this wasn’t a vacation. This was a trip to see kids who are sponsored through Compassion, kids who aren’t sponsored and how Compassion works through the local people there to share Jesus.
Technically Robin didn’t make me do it, but inspired me to do it.
Around my birthday last year, after reading about Robin’s experiences in India, I decided to sponsor a child. I sort of peeked through one half-open eye. Fingers still in my ears. I figured I did my part. I’m sponsoring a child. But really? I didn’t want to get attached. I don’t want my heart broken. Pretty selfish huh?
Fast forward to this year’s She Speaks. Same Compassion table, just a few down from the She Seeks table where I sat with my buddies. Except this time, I didn’t really have a choice but to go by the table. Our She Seeks team met with Shawna and Laura and talked about how we could help inform others about Compassion. There were only 2 thoughts that crossed my mind — one, I did not want to admit that I had sponsored a child about a year and a half ago and never written her a letter. Two, I did not want to go on a trip.
This week one of my She Seeks buddies, Shannon, and Shawna are in Columbia. Please pray for them on their trip and also check out Shannon’s blog. She’s writing stories every day. But most importantly, pray about sponsoring a child. And if you do sponsor a child? Sit down and right them a letter — TODAY. I mailed mine Friday.
