close my eyes

It started in the ’80s. Maybe the ’90s. My memory has left me to early in life. But you know what I’m talking about. The commercials. The ones showing kids in other countries with just skin on their bones. Oh, and the flies flying around their faces. You remember. Don’t you?

I grew to hate those commercials.

Every time one would come on, I’d close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears and sing “la-la-la” as loud as I could. This was before the days of remote controls. Yes, I’m that old.

I’m a fixer. I want to fix things.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a fixer or because my heart literally hurts when I see someone hurting, but those commercials broke my heart. I was overwhelmed. They’d throw out big numbers — so many children needing food and medical supplies. I never could fix it for all of them.

So I continued to close my eyes and change the channel.

At my first She Speaks 2 years ago, there was a Compassion booth setup. I refused to look at any of the pictures. I was not going to let my heart break or feel the pain of these children around the world that I couldn’t help. My buddy Robin heard Compassion was going to send some bloggers to India, and she wanted to go. Not me. I wouldn’t even walk at to the table with her to support her. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I have never in my life had a desire to go outside the country. Ok, maybe a few times in French class I’d dream of Paris, but really? I’m a good ol’ country girl who would rather go to vacation in the mountains here than across the ocean. But this wasn’t a vacation. This was a trip to see kids who are sponsored through Compassion, kids who aren’t sponsored and how Compassion works through the local people there to share Jesus.

Technically Robin didn’t make me do it, but inspired me to do it.

Around my birthday last year, after reading about Robin’s experiences in India, I decided to sponsor a child. I sort of peeked through one half-open eye. Fingers still in my ears. I figured I did my part. I’m sponsoring a child. But really? I didn’t want to get attached. I don’t want my heart broken. Pretty selfish huh?

Fast forward to this year’s She Speaks. Same Compassion table, just a few down from the She Seeks table where I sat with my buddies. Except this time, I didn’t really have a choice but to go by the table. Our She Seeks team met with Shawna and Laura and talked about how we could help inform others about Compassion. There were only 2 thoughts that crossed my mind — one, I did not want to admit that I had sponsored a child about a year and a half ago and never written her a letter. Two, I did not want to go on a trip.

This week one of my She Seeks buddies, Shannon, and Shawna are in Columbia. Please pray for them on their trip and also check out Shannon’s blog. She’s writing stories every day. But most importantly, pray about sponsoring a child. And if you do sponsor a child? Sit down and right them a letter — TODAY. I mailed mine Friday.

Sponsor a Child