The Prayer Room is constructed each year with great care. It is situated directly across from the conference room entrance. Women said the moment they entered they felt the need to remove their shoes, for the Holy Spirit was so evident. As you step beyond the threshold, the lamp lit room casts shadows of the cross. Scattered chairs, cushioned benches, and pillows dot the floor. Three tables beyond the kneeling benches invite you to Come To Him. It is as if you are moving into the Holy of Holies to meet with God.
– Luann Prater, Encouragement Cafe
Luann shared what the Prayer Room is on Encouragement Cafe today (go over to read more). I believe I ran into Luann last year in the registration area and she told me about the prayer room. On the 3 tables Luann mentioned above, there are the many names of God printed on a letter size sheet of paper. Everyone who is attending the conference has their name printed on a slip of paper. Names go out to prayer teams way before the conference, but these printed slips of paper are prayed over the night before. She said the names are placed on the pages in accordance to how much that person needs to realize God is that for them.
Last year I felt lost. I almost didn’t go in. I was thinking it was for other people. God had a message for them — not me. But as the weekend wore on, I felt compelled to go in. I was nervous, anxious, and excited to figure out where my name was — I was expecting a huge ah-ha moment. When I found my name, I was let down. I was in between two names of God (what they were I can’t even remember now). It was like I was floating out in space somewhere — not sure of what I needed. Maybe I needed both names. I knew it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but mine. Somehow I hadn’t prayed enough before coming … had enough quiet time … I hadn’t done something right.
I wish I could tell you that leading up to She Speaks this year was different. My quiet time was spotty at best. Quick prayers sent up here and there. Conversations with God more like smiling and saying “hey” while passing in the hallway. When I got to She Speaks, the Prayer Room haunted me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go in for me, but I knew Especially Heather needed to go. I even waited until Saturday night to tell her about it. I felt awful for that, but God knew we didn’t need to be in there until Sunday morning.
We ate breakfast and gathered our stuff. I knew I was going to cry. I was trying to prepare myself for walking in there. We went in and put our stuff down by the door. The room was unbelievable — just like last year. There was a peace inside it unlike anywhere else — even your own room. We began looking for our names on the tables. We came across Heather’s first — it was on “JEHOVAH-JIREH: The Lord Will Provide.” She cried. I fought back tears.
She went to pray with one of the prayer partners. I continued looking for my name. Then I saw it. Remember how I said the slips are placed on the paper as much as that person needs that name? My slip? Wasn’t just hanging off the edge. The whole slip of paper was on this name of God — not just on the paper, right at the top. Like God wrote my name to start a letter and that’s what He was writing to me.
JEHOVAH-RAPHA: The Lord Who Heals
At first I laughed. God’s got a great sense of humor. How can I bring Especially Heather to She Speaks, brain cancer survivor, and my name is on The Lord Who Heals? I started to feel guilty about my name being on the Healer when so many ladies coming to She Speaks wanted healing. Then I read the text at the bottom:
God has provided the final cure for spiritual, physical, and emotional sickness in Jesus Christ God can heal us.
I lost it. Emotional sickness? My mind was only thinking of the physical. I sat, praying and crying. Crying and praying. Heather had finished praying with Charlotte. She stood and grabbed me and said “here, you need to pray with her. She’s good.” I sat and talked to her and we prayed and it was good. I shared with her some emotional hurts I had. I lack confidence in myself. Sometimes it’s hard for me to balance having confidence in the skills and gifts God’s given me — to not wanting to be self-confident, cocky? Charlotte shared with me similar struggles and we had a wonderful time of sharing and praying.
I realize that I don’t see the value in the skills and gifts God’s given me. I don’t see the value in me, and I need to. I need to look at myself through God’s eyes. That’s hard for me. But I’m going to work on it. Because Doodle? She’s picked up the same attitude. I don’t know how, or why, but she has. Before I left for She Speaks my heart was hurting — hurting badly — for Doodle. She wrote on a worksheet in school “I’m useless.” What 10-year-old writes “I’m useless”? Evidently mine.
The Lord Who Heals. I’m praying for a lot of healing. Healing of my insecurities. Healing of my daughter’s insecurities. Healing of past hurts. I need God to heal us because I can’t do that. And before I walked into the Prayer Room, I didn’t even know I needed to be healed.
25 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the LORD made a decree and a law for them, and there he tested them. 26 He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.”
27 Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.
– Exodus 15:25-27
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
– Psalm 103:3
3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
– Psalm 147:3
24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
– 1 Peter 2:24
Oh my friend – He is a God who heals, and had you at She Speaks for His timing, His reasons, and to hug you with the reassurance that your gifting blesses SO MANY!
I put in my identifying information not even knowing what I was going to say but feeling so moved by your post that I knew I couldn’t leave without saying something.
My dear friend, you are beautiful and smart and encouraging woman of God. It hurts my heart to hear your feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. Satan is a powerful adversary but God is able to overcome his assaults. I pray that you will come to see your worth in the eyes of our loving heavenly Father.
I feel honored to call you a friend and I enjoyed seeing you again thus weekend. I just wish we’d had more time to visit.
This is so beautiful – Thanks for sharing. What a wonderful experience you all had at SheSpeaks! God Bless.
My heart tingled when I saw that both of our names Jehova Rapha. I don’t think it was an accident. You have held my hand and healed frayed nerves on many an occasion for me.
A lovely, lovely post Lisa. Beautifully stated.
This has helped me:
Do not fear your weakness; for it is the stage where God’s power and glory perform most brilliantly.
I believe God has much in store for you, gal. So crank up the Harley and run right over the enemy…and then back-up.
Dear sweet Lisa, you are SO valuable. I am glad you were BOLD and went to the prayer room so God could speak specifically to you.
I pray he continues to heal those broken places in your heart because you are so worth it! Blessings and healing to you!
Lisa, I feel that I’ve found a new friend in you this weekend and the only way we were around each other was through Twitter.
This post has compelled me to be more about God’s call for me to intercede more for His daughters.
Blessings my friend!
Kela
Lisa, it was so nice meeting you and thanks for listening to my technical question about not being able to view videos on blogs for the last few months. You suggested Flash updates which I know I’d done several times, but I was willilng to keep trying if I was at least headed in the right direction.
Last night when I rebooted my computer, Adobe asked if I wanted to install an update, so I said yes. The problem is fixed! I just wanted to let you know to confirm that yes, you pointed me in the right direction.
Thanks again….very cool story about you and Heather getting to She Speaks!
Thank you Lisa. I was very blessed by you too.
Wasn’t the prayer room like entering into God’s chambers? I think we all need healing of some sort. You are truly amazing and I know that God is working in your life as we speak.
Beautifully written post, Lisa.
Girl! Your post and heart mirrors mine! I tried to describe what it was like going into the prayer room… it’s almost too hard. If you get a chance track on over to my blog and read what I had to say.
I didn’t get to spend much time with you, but I will tell you this… You are one giving, inspiring and beautiful daughter of The King.
I don’t know quite how I came across your site, but feel it is truly God-ordained. You just described me and my doubts about going to She Speaks exactly. The only difference is that I didn’t go. I let Satan totally rob me of confidence that I could possibly belong there and of faith that God would make a way and let “circumstances” and “other people’s opinions” keep me from going. Thank you for the encouragement and for being so real. And I am so glad God moved for you.
Blessings,
Lindsey
Lisa,
Our meeting and becoming fast friends was definitely God ordained.I knew within a few sessions that I needed to relieve myself of some of my responsibilities and I prayed for an assistant. My biggest time consumers are things that you do effortlessly. When you said that across the table I could have jumped out of my seat. God absolutely answers prayers.
My name was on Johovah-Jireh – The Lord will provide… and He does. He provided you and your gift. I’m so excited about all of this. We must talk soon!
Oh, sweet Lisa Lisa Lisa. Thank you for opening up your heart. Now I know how to pray for you and encourage you. You certainly blessed me, but I know that God-confidence is a journey, and as you surrender, He will begin to give you just a little bit more and a little bit more as you walk along. I’ve experienced it myself. Send out an SOS for prayer anytime, and I’ll be there.
Lisa, thank you for your beautiful and honest post. I, too, have those same feelings much of the time. Praying for you, for us, right now as I type these words…for healing and wholeness, for us to believe we are the women He’s made us to be–and that each part is right, good, and lovely. It was a joy to meet you this weekend and I’m looking forward to keeping in touch.
Lisa,
Thank you for your heartfelt post. I went to She Speaks knowing that God was going to meet me and didn’t care how. I couldn’t wait to get to the Prayer Room after hearing Antique Mommy and others encouraging me to go. Just walking in and breathing in God’s presence was incredible! I saw your name on Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals and rejoiced. Then I saw mine towards the bottom and lost it. I, too, have needed so-oo much healing in my life, especially emotional. And I’ve seen how God’s really been at work in me for the last two months.
Blessings and peace to you as we continue our journeys to wholeness in Him.
You are awesome! I absolutely adored meeting you and the time we spent together. You are a beautiful woman and I am looking forward to getting to know you more through your blogs! I am so glad you had such an amazing moment with God in the prayer room!
I’m with Jo-Lynn: I don’t know what I’m gonna say, but I have to say something. As a fellow She Speaks-er whose name was on The Lord Who Heals, I too had a twinge of guilt, knowing there were so many other women who would love to have seen their names in my place. But you have captured quite eloquently the essence of those emotional wounds that need healing. Thank you for doing that. Yours is a beautiful soul.
Lisa,
I don’t know if we ran across each other or not during the conference, but the prayer room was a place I found Friday night, just as I needed it. I scribbled on the back of my note book Jehovah-Rapha and the scripture verses associated, but didn’t get the sentences under it that you included in your post here.
I was in there alone, and I never even thought to take a picture in there of the spot where my name was. Do you have that picture.. the original where the sides aren’t fuzzed out??? If you do, could you email it to me???? I would be so incredibly grateful!!! Your’s is the first blog that I have come across that had even a description of the name Jehovah-Rapha.
I too am realizing there is more healing I need, other than what God had done in the past, and what he did for me Friday night. So much more. And being able to read your post, and read so much of myself here… well, now God had revealed to me even more of what He wants to heal in me.
Thank you for your words. Thank God for somehow sending me here and letting me read your words. I too am working on processing She Speaks by writing it on my blog, and I am by no means done. But as I write God is showing me more and more how what He showed me there, applies and touches my life here, at home, in the “real” world.
May God bless you,
Heather