She Speaks 2009: Getting there

I was a little hesitant to share the story about how I was getting to She Speaks. Now I realize it was such a God thing that I shouldn’t keep it just to myself.

Last year at She Speaks I literally wondered why I was there. I signed up kinda of spur of the moment because 3 big bloggers were going to be there (Rocks in my dryer, BooMama, and Big Mama). I was lost ya’ll. Not physically lost. But emotionally? mentally? yeah, lost. Wondering what in the world I was doing there. God kept putting Especially Heather on my heart. “She should be here instead of me,” I kept thinking. “She’s got 2 huge stories that need to get out there — to be heard.”

I wish I could say that I prayed about it. I didn’t really. On my own I was trying to figure out how we (Duck and I) could pay for her conference fee so she could go this year. I could pick her up, take her there, stay with her, pay for her food and her conference, but then I’d need to pay for the conference for me. I was distraught. There’s no way we could pay for all that. But still, in my heart I knew Heather needed to be at this conference.

I worked up the courage (I learned this weekend I’m lacking in confidence but more on this later) to email Lysa. Ya’ll, I felt like I was begging and I hate to do that. In the email I put that I would do anything I could volunteer-wise if there was a way for Heather’s conference to be covered. In the back of my head I was also trying to figure out how I could pay for mine. That wasn’t important right then. I just knew I would pay for it somehow.

Months went by and I never heard from Lysa. I know she’s busy. I know it was a horrible time to email her around the holidays. I read on her blog where she had replied to emails in her head only to realize later she never did send the email. I can so relate to that. I truly believe she didn’t mean not to get back to me, but then the devil started up with his lies. She probably laughed when she read that wondering who you think you are. You couldn’t volunteer there. There’s nothing you have to offer them. They are the Proverbs 31 ladies. They have their pick of ladies to work with.

I hate the devil. I really, really do. I hate it even more when I fall for his lies. A couple of my bloggy friends were asked to do presentations this year and I was trying really hard to be happy for them. As I was talking to them about the sessions they were going to teach, they said “you’re going to be there, right? Lysa’s mentioned you.” Um, I didn’t know anything about it? I was confused. The devil likes to confuse things.

Struggling for a few weeks on whether or not I should send another email, I finally sent one to LeAnne. She is the blessing that heads up the organizing and volunteers. I can’t even tell you what I said in the email but after I sent it I was sure I sounded like a lunatic. But I had to know for sure. LeAnne wrote me back a sweet email and said something to the effect of “yeah, I thought you were coming and bringing a friend.”

Whew! I was so thankful! I began emailing LeAnne and saying whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. Clean toilets. Sweep floors. Anything. I just knew Heather had to be there. She asked me to fix some things on the conference web site which I happily did. Oh this is stuff I can really do — not that I can’t clean toilets — I can. I’d just much rather deal with code

Then she emailed me. Proverbs 31 was setting up a new web site for a new ministry. They had someone doing the graphics, but she didn’t have the time to setup the site. If I could do it, she would take care of both of our conferences. {jaw hits the desk at this point – God’s awesome isn’t He?} Um, heck yeah! So I’m emailing Heather saying if you can pay for the flight to get to me, everything else is covered.

They did a “soft launch” (officially launching August 10th) of the She Seeks website at She Speaks and had a table setup. I got to meet Lisa Whittle who is heading up this new ministry. I also got to meet Sarah and Nicki who were working the table. I sat down with Sarah and was showing her some stuff about WordPress, and when we finished, she said “wow, I feel like I need to pay you or something.” It was perfect timing because Especially Heather was standing there, and we told Sarah the story. Because they had a vision (5 years ago) and wanted to launch this site, Especially Heather and I were able to come to the conference. God knew. He knew 5 years ago what Especially Heather was going to go through and that she needed to be there this year.

One of many times over the weekend I got what I call the Holy Spirit chills. And that, my friends, is how I ended up at She Speaks this year.

{other She Speaks posts}