Maybe you click … Maybe you don’t

And no, this post doesn’t have anything to do with the internet, or websites, or ads.

Many of my bloggy friends are going to BlogHer next week. The week after, some of us will be at She Speaks. I’ve seen lots of tweets, blog posts and comments about how everyone is feeling before going to these conferences. My post is going to be primarily about She Speaks, but I’m sure you can get some helpful information for BlogHer.

Maybe you click …

Last year I sort of organized a lunch at Chili’s the day She Speaks started. I say sort of because evidently I didn’t make the right Chili’s known to everyone — half of us were at one, half at the other. God blessed me with meeting Robin at my Chili’s. Robin has a gift ya’ll. She’s outgoing and smart and witty. She can talk to anyone about anything and has such a warm Southern spirit. She makes you feel relaxed and before you know it, you’re telling her your life story. I don’t know of anyone that wouldn’t click with Robin — but that’s because of her, not me. I pray you’ll meet at least 3 people who you click with at the conference.

Maybe you don’t click …

Over the weekend I met many ladies. I dare say I never clicked with any of them like I did Robin, but I did click with some of them. Some of them I felt so awkward around! One, who I will not name (even though I’m pretty sure there’s no way she’d ever read my blog), just said “oh, I know who you are.” That was it. I went totally out of my comfort zone and introduced myself, and that was the line I got back. She walked off and continued clicking with the other ladies there. What I’ve come to realize is that it may not be me, so I shouldn’t take it personally.

Reasons we may not click …

I’ve learned a lot about myself at BlissDom back in February. Here are some reasons you and I may not click if we meet at She Speaks. Maybe it’ll help you to look at meeting people from the other side.

1. I am a Southerner. I not only talk slow. I listen slow. Seriously. If you come up to me, introduce yourself and you get a blank stare? I may just be processing what you said 2 sentences ago. Give my brain a few seconds to catch up. I’ve met some Northerners that I really have to focus and listen. My brain has to slow down what they are saying before I can even try to carry on a conversation. If you happen to be a fast talker? Try to slow it down a little when you meet me, ok? I’ll work on listening faster, promise.

2. I am an introvert. I don’t know exactly when it happened. Maybe I have always been one but when I was a teenager I wanted to be the life of the party. I get overwhelmed easily. I know this and I am going to work in some quiet time for me and God into this conference. Instead of feeling like I’m going to miss out on something, I’m going to sit quietly and regroup before going back around people. What this also means for you who meet me also goes along with #1 above — if you come up to me and start talking and you get the “deer in headlights” look, it’s me — again trying to process everything that’s going on. That might be a good time to ask me if I need some quiet time

3. I am different. Not that drastically different — we all are similar in many ways. But maybe we don’t have anything in common. It’s possible. You may be a city girl — I’m a country girl. You? beach. Me? Mountains. You? Pepsi (yuck!). Me? Coke. That doesn’t mean that we can’t talk, but we may not click like you’ll see others do. There are going to be roughly 550 – 600 women at She Speaks (1,500+ at BlogHer). You will see ladies clicking together and forming what will be very deep, life-long friendships. You may long for that. I know I do. But for whatever reason, you and I don’t click? Don’t take it personally. Be kind and courteous and just move along to the next person.

Back row Baptist …

In all of my examples above, it was you coming up to me — did you notice? I am very happily a back row Baptist. The kind who likes to hang out behind the scenes most of the time. I may be sitting in a corner or the back row of the conference room. Don’t let that stop you from saying hey — that’s hi for you Northerners and no, it’s not just for horses! I’m going to do my best to force myself out of my comfort zone and make the first step. I’m also going to do my best to remember not to take it personally if I don’t click with someone. Maybe that person isn’t the one God wants me to develop a relationship with today. That’s ok.

One more thing …

Lots of ladies are worried about what to wear. Honestly I know She Speaks has said “no jeans” sort of thing, but I am not a fashion person at all. I am not going to remember what you wore to the conference. What I will remember is your smile. Is there hurt in your eyes or excitement? Did we click? What did we talk about? Those are much more important things that what you wore — to me anyway. I’m not concerned at all with outside appearances but with the heart of the matter. There will be tons more ladies there like me than you would think. So don’t stress it. Bring your best. God sees you. He loves you. He has big plans for you. Don’t worry about what you’re going to wear — I’m pretty sure that’s biblical