Saturday was a long day. I went back to Whole Woman Day and attended a few of the seminars I had wanted to go to. I left early missing the last message (which didn’t bother me at all) to get home. Duck’s group was singing at a church, and we needed both cars to haul all the music equipment there (I run sound for the group and bought Duck a sound system for Christmas).
During one of Duck’s intros to a song, he started sharing his testimony — which is well, my testimony too. We were saved at the same time during a revival service. He got choked up and tears in his eyes, and I just started bawling. I think I tried to hold the tears back, but let out a growl or weird sound of some sort, so I decided it was just better to let the tears fall.
He said he needed to let me tell the story because I told it so much better than he, but at that point I was so thankful I wasn’t up there speaking. Then that got me to thinking … if I were speaking in front of a group of people, would I started bawling and falling apart trying to tell my story? Would I even be able to choke out the words they needed to hear?
I’ve decided that God may very well be calling me to speak, but it’s not today. He’s still got a lot more work to do on me before I’m ready. Just another example of “if you see me speaking in front of people” it’ll be all God.
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I still struggle with this issue – not being able to give my testimony without getting choked up about it. But I’m doing better with it these days. Not doing better about not getting choked up but doing better in not being overly concerned about it as much.
I’m able to stand up in front of people and play the guitar and sing without much trouble. I do get nervous about it because I want to do a good job but it is more nervous excitement than nervous fear. I love to stand in front of people and sing and play the guitar. I just wish I was better at it.
When I speak about what God has done in my life I want the words and the message to flow and be clear. I am envious of people who speak so eloquently and give such powerful testimonies. But that isn’t me and that is ok.
The thought of what God has done in saving me is just so powerful and I can’t get the words out without getting emotional about it. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I’m comfortable with God’s amazing grace.
After a recent singing, a member of the audience paid me one of the best complements I’ve ever received. She said your singing was beautiful but your testimony was very real and personal. She thanked me for sharing it and said it reminder her of what God had done for her in her life.
Beloved, you have a testimony to share! Even if you don’t stand in front of people and speak, the way you live your life speaks volumes to those around you. Your actions speak so much louder than any words you share. I love you and am so grateful for all the work you do behind the scenes that allows me to stand in front of others and sing and play.
You are still God’s perfect gift to me! Love you lots, h
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I’m sure you’d do just fine…your message would come across loud and clear!
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Lisa….girl, the Lord is working on you! You are going to be used in an incredible way. Tears or no tears. You have a wonderful burden for women and you have a voice to be heard. Keep praying, Lisa. The Lord will open those doors when you – and He – are ready. {{BIG OL’ HUG}}
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