Invis-a-shield Up

I pick on Duck when we’re riding in the car and someone pulls out in front of us or almost runs us off the road. He gets a little tense and I try to decompress the situation for both of us by saying he should not have turned on the invisible shield. We’ve started making “whoooom” noises to resemble the shield up around us because apparantly, people can’t see us. Since this only happens when Duck’s driving, I blame it all on him.

Yesterday was a long, long day. I took Doodle to meet some friends at Chuck E. Cheese right when they opened up (9 “oh my goodness I’m not a morning person” o’clock). About 1 pm (yep, 4 hours in good ol’ Chuck E. Cheese) and I decided to take Doodle and her friends to the local children’s museum. Once I got them all safely home, I showered and took off to Whole Woman Day. This local Christian women’s conference is big — not Women of Faith big but bigger than what most churches put together I’d venture. The last Whole Woman Day I went to was with my buddy Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity 2 years ago just a few months after she decided to follow Jesus.

I was so wiped out from all that went on with the kids all day that I almost didn’t go. But I did. I think Duck left the invis-a-shield in the car for me because I had quite a few people just *not* see me and pull over in front of me. My mind started racing about being in a wreck … could the EMS people find Duck’s phone number to call him … who would Twitter that I’d been hurt … would Duck even know the passwords to get into my blog to let you know? You know, all the important questions of life. Thankfully, I arrived safely and got a chance to relax for a couple of hours.

I felt kinda bad during the first main session because although I got her message, it wasn’t all that easy for me to follow. I kept looking around the room wondering what each lady was going through — what struggles they had that they’ve never told anyone. The messages I think God’s given to me to share with hurting women started burning inside me. I started going back and forth thinking … I could get up and speak to a group of ladies about that … it would have to be a small group … I’m too young for this … most of the best speakers I know are older than I am … I would probably forget everything I wanted to say. And my thoughts went crazy again.

If I ever am on stage speaking, just know it comes totally from God. Because it totally freaks me out to even think about it. I mean I dream about doing it, but actually having to do it and what it looks like in my head, is something totally different. I don’t know when it may happen — when I may get the chance to speak to a small group — but God knows. Whether it happens this year or in 10 years, I pray that my personal invis-a-shield would go up so no one can see me, but they would hear God’s message for them.