2009

Going on Break

By Lisa B on December 14, 2009

I’ve been feeling run down lately and not able to focus much on what I need to be doing or even deciding what it is I do need to be doing. I was going to throw up a Christmas card here and let you know I’m going offline for a few weeks — don’t worry Mom and Dad, I’ll see you Saturday

But I looked through my archives and came across the following post I wrote on December 19, 2008 — almost a year ago to the day. I was amazed that I still feel the same way I felt when I wrote this. It’s as if I haven’t learned anything this year — how to turn off the computer and live life. So I leave you with these words which are more of a reminder for myself than they are for you I hope you have a Merry CHRISTmas and a Happy New Year! I’ll be back around January 11th if I can last that long

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This is a question that has plagued me for a few years now. When I worked in an office, the work I did had to be there. I couldn’t carry any of it home with me. I left it behind. Sure, I worked a lot of overtime, but when I wasn’t at the office, I wasn’t at the office.

I haven’t been blogging all that much lately because honestly, I’ve been on information overload just following people on Twitter. It’s been said Twitter is like a water cooler. Well, I’ve been on break too much. Lots of people have been asking if everyone is going to shut down their blogs for Christmas. I haven’t seen many responses other than people will be checking in and writing when they can spare a few minutes.

I’ll admit, I’m addicted to my laptop. Twitter…WordPress…these little projects I’ve said I’d do for others. It’s been poorly affecting my home life. Even Duck was getting jealous the other night because I wasn’t in there for tv time. And he should be. I should be able to put the laptop down and step away for awhile.

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.

~ Proverbs 14:30, NLT

A side-effect of getting information overloaded has been the green-eyed monster surfacing in my life. Instead of being happy for others, I’ve been coveting what they have or jealous of what they’ve been asked to do. I have been looking at how my online buddies have grown in the past year whether it’s their blogs, their businesses or what-have-you, and instead of being happy for them — that God’s blessed them, I’m wondering why I can’t be like that or why so-and-so didn’t ask me to do that.

I’ve even been jealous of ladies going out with their best friends for special days — massages, lunch, etc. I miss that. I don’t really have any good friends to get together with offline, and that’s sad to me. But I guess I haven’t really been working on those friendships either. Not going to a church has been hurting too.

So, I need a break. A break from blogging, from Twittering, from just being on my computer in general. I want a peaceful heart along with a healthy body. I want to focus on the blessings God’s given to me. I need to get back into the Word of God and remember the most important thing starts with my relationship with Him.

I’m going to take a little bloggy break. I’ll be back January 5, 2009 when Doodle goes back to school. My hope and prayer is that God will cleanse my heart and soul and give me a right mind again.

Try not to get caught up in all the gifts or material things that you either get or don’t get. I truly wish all of you a very Merry CHRISTmas, and hope that you remember the reason for the season.

| Filed Under: Bloggin', Family, Holidays

Stop beating yourself up

By Lisa B on December 2, 2009

Last week a Twitter buddy sent through a message: “Hates the feeling that I’ve let someone down…”

My response? “Girl, we all let people down at one time or another. Pick yourself up and dust off. Ask for forgiveness & forgive yourself.”

Easier said than done and I’m Queen of Denial. Little did I know that by the end of the week, I really needed to hear that same message for myself.

I haven’t been staying on top of our finances like I should — and I had a bunch of stuff (ie everything) setup to automatically draft from our checking account. Duck hates that. He says it hurts more if you have to write a check, and well, you stay on top of it. I will not say he was right. So let’s just continue about me.

Morals of the story, something auto paid that I forgot was coming out — I bounced some things — incurred some outrageous bank fees — and have since turned off automatic payments for everything. Oh, and I’m going to be turning the finances over to Duck ASAP He’s been great and very understanding. He held me while I was crying and told me we’ll figure things out together. We’ll work through this. But, even after I had calmed down that time, I’d trail off in thoughts about the whole money thing. I’d start beating myself up mentally for not staying on top of things and trying to plot ways to make a fast million.

Do you beat yourself up over mistakes made? I can’t stop sometimes. Poor Duck. He handles me well when I get into these funky moods. I feel like I let Duck down. I’ve let myself down. Picking myself up and dusting off works until I take a step and fall back down again. Asking for forgiveness is hard, but gotten. I know God has forgiven and forgotten many, many sins and mistakes. Forgiving myself is next to impossible sometimes.

Yesterday Doodle comes home from school. I yelled got frustrated about her giving away all the food in her lunch. I thought she was at least eating some of it. I told her I wasn’t taking her to get Chick-fil-a right after school and she could just starve to death (ok, I’m not going to let her starve to death, but she was being real drama-queenish at this point). Then looking at her homework, she’d forgotten a book at school. Something we’ve gotten on her for doing many times and actually it’s been awhile since she forgot anything at school. Oh, and she forgot her lunchbox which was “probably in lost and found.”

She went back to her room and slammed the door. I figured she was just mad about the “starve to death” comment. I made her a PB&J and took it back to her room. She was under her covers bawling. I apologized for yelling getting frustrated with her, and told her it was ok, to calm down. She went on about how stupid she is and how she’s always forgetting things and she’s never going to do anything right. I later found out that she had been in an argument with some of her friends and she just really wasn’t having a good day at all.

She’s just like me. I have no clue how to deal with it either. I know the thoughts that are going through her head. I know it’s hard to stop them. Someone else telling you to “pick yourself up” or “stop beating yourself up” or “forgive yourself” doesn’t really help because there’s no how to do those things. Duck shared some good words with her though — we love her — everyone makes mistakes — you’ve just got to learn from them and move on. Mostly I think they were for me too because at this point I was beating myself up for being a horrible mom and losing my cool.

Stop beating yourself up.

Think I’m going to have that tattooed on my forehead backwards so I can read it in the mirror every morning.

| Filed Under: Family, Personal

Happy Anniversary!

By Lisa B on December 1, 2009

To Mom and Dad (not you Duck! You’re off the hook!).

Mom and Dad have been married 41 years today. They have been through a lot especially with raising 5 of us kids. I thank God that He gave me the parents He did and that they are still in sappy love after all this time Gives me hope!

| Filed Under: Personal

I have questions …

By Lisa B on November 12, 2009

and you have answers! Yes, you sitting there staring at your computer screen. I know you have the answers I’m looking for!

My questions surround the Women of Faith conferences. Have you ever been to one?

If you have been to one, did you go with friend? a group from church? by yourself? Do you think that this conference is more for people who already believe in Jesus? or more for people who need to know Jesus? or a nice mixture of both? What was your favorite part (speaker, singer, buying goodies, hanging with a friend)?

If you have not been to one, why not? is money an issue? no one to go with? always thought it’d be nice but no one ever got things together? From the promotions you’ve seen or things you’ve heard others say about it, would you think it’s more for people who already believe in Jesus? or more for people who need to know Jesus?

What are the things that might keep you from going in 2010? distance from you? money? nice idea but you’ll probably not get things together in time?

I would so love to know your thoughts on this no matter where you live Hmmm…maybe I need to give something away to a person who leaves me some answers. I’ll have to look on my book shelves for a good gift. So answer away. I’ll find something on my shelves Women of Faith related to send to one lucky person. I love bribery, don’t you?

| Filed Under: Conferences, Women of Faith

God’s got a great sense of humor

By Lisa B on November 9, 2009

Who knew? Really? I always thought God was this serious, angry man. He must love to laugh, or at least chuckle, because He totally blew my mind this weekend at Women of Faith!

As you may have read in my Arguing with God never works post, even before the weekend He was rocking my world — getting me out of my comfort zone. Once I got my friend Tonya in the car, I figured it was all down hill from there. Then the thought crossed my mind and out my lips — God’s got a purpose for Tonya to be at Women of Faith. He must have a purpose for me this weekend too.

Now, I say that Tonya is my friend, really now she is — before the weekend I didn’t know much if anything about her. I sat in her Sunday School class and knew her name. I knew she had 4 boys (though I didn’t know all their names), and I knew her husband wasn’t with her in Sunday School. That was pretty much all I knew about Tonya — oh, and except that God impressed on my heart that she needed a break, to be refueled, and that she was busy helping everybody else around her.

During the weekend she and I had some great conversations. I continually had to laugh at (with?) God because He had put the two of us together in this situation. There are things that we are totally opposite about. She’s beach. I’m mountains. She cooks. I’m Queen of the Drive-Thru. She thinks computers are of the devil. I’m on the computer way too much. But no matter what our differences are, we both love Jesus and want to know what’s God’s will.

We had an amazing time. We cried. We laughed. We talked. We slept (a little). I pray that God used me to speak to her and encourage her in her struggles. She encouraged me to share my stories with others. She encouraged me that I can organize at least 50 people to come to Women of Faith next year. Yep, you heard that right.

They kept announcing that if you committed to bringing 50 peeps to Women of Faith next year they’d fly you to Dallas in January for a preview and training — an all-expense paid trip. No airfare. No money for hotel or food. At first Tonya would just lean over and say “you could do that.” Then it turned to “you should go to that meeting.” She wouldn’t let up. So when I thought the last meeting had occurred, I told her if she found out where I should get more information from, I’d think about it.

She found the table. We talked to the guy behind the table. I was wavering. We struggle financially. How could I commit to these tickets? If I don’t sell all of them, I’d be responsible for paying for them? But Tonya said they had gotten a group of about 25 women just from our church (which shocked me because it’s a kinda small church — but she said they brought friends). I joked and told her if it was online, I could do it But my peeps are all over!

Finally when I started thinking about all the people I know in other churches, I caved in. I thought surely I can get enough of my friends in other places to get other friends, and I’ll be able to do this. What a story I’ll have to tell people from going to the pre-conference last year by myself, to asking Patsy for tickets this year to bringing a group of 50 next year. Not to mention I had already run into 2 friends who I didn’t know where going to be at the conference.

I signed up.

I folded the copy he gave me and stuck it in my back pocket. A knot formed in my stomach. I didn’t want to look at what else he had written. As we walked back to our seats, I looked up and said, “God you know the 50 women you want to be here next year in my group — just please don’t take too long letting me know them.”

We sat down in our seats, and I started thinking about telling Duck what I’d done. I thought he’d tell me I’m crazy, so I pulled the piece of paper out of my back pocket. I looked at the total of the tickets — the amount I’d have to pay if I didn’t sell one of them. I almost puked. Tonya looked over at me and said, “calm down. It’ll be ok. I’ll take one and I know others that will too. I’ll pray for you.” When I got home Saturday night, I told Duck that I had signed up to sell these tickets. His response? “Good luck with that.” Which made me laugh. out. loud.

When I woke up Sunday morning, God hit me with another idea, and the worry about selling all these tickets hasn’t overwhelmed me since. I’ve realized there are even more ladies I know that I can talk to and challenge them to bring a friend. Now I can’t help but wonder how many over 50 God’s going to send my way. He’s funny that way too. I can just see Him sitting in heaven laughing at my lack of faith and my worries.

Just planting the seed right now … you know you want to go to Women of Faith next year

Here are some pictures

Steven Curtis Chapman — you know I cried when he was talking about Maria. It was absolutely awesome to see him perform. Oh, and it didn’t hurt that we were on the second row right in front of him

Beth_LisaWomenOfFaith2009

It totally blew Tonya’s mind that I had known Beth @ Sports Momma online for probably about 2 years and never met her in person — until Women of Faith I fell in love with Beth’s original blog design where the header had a softball and said “I throw like a girl.” Cracked me up! Beth and I chat a lot on Twitter and I was so glad I finally got to meet her!

| Filed Under: Blessings, Conferences, Personal

Can you do ministry online?

By Lisa B on November 2, 2009

This question seems to be coming up for me a lot in the past few weeks. I had lunch with a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a few years, Lisa 1 (since she’s older than me — she came first). We talked a lot over lunch about many things, but one interesting thing was doing ministry online. It’s Lisa 1′s belief that we can’t really do ministry online though I think we were talking about counseling. I definitely agree that deep, spiritual counseling needs to be one-on-one, face-to-face. Then last week I read Face to Face vs Modem to Modem over on Mary DeMuth’s blog where she was asking the same question.

I guess it depends on how you define ministry. Is ministry limited to delivering food to a family who’s dealing with sickness or death? Is ministry limited to prayer requests only from people you know in person? Can you only minister through writing books? from speaking in front of people? Is it possible to only do one ministry?

You can’t limit God.

When I look back over the past few years, I can see plenty of ways I’ve done ministry online or received blessings from other people doing ministry online. Witnessing to Heather, praying for her and just chatting about my beliefs and hers. When it got to a certain point though, I thoroughly encouraged her to speak to a real, live pastor face-to-face. I encouraged her to go to church, to interact with other Christians. We desperately need that face-to-face support too. But you can’t lessen what I did just because I did it online, and you also have to take into account it wasn’t really me doing anything. God did it all. I was just open to Him using me in that way.

I believe in everything we do, we should strive for balance. It’s hard — very hard to do. We should have a balance of face-to-face interactions and online interactions. God can use all of it. I see many women online who become addicted — you might say I’m one of them. They would rather tweet with their buddies than spend time with their families. There are many homes that are struggling with that. Tear yourself away from your computer and spend a few minutes with God — first thing in the morning — before checking tweets, Facebook statuses or blogs. It will help you work towards balance.

How cool is God that He’s helping me learn about all this balance stuff just this week? Because of my online doings, I had contact with Patsy Clairmont to get tickets so I can take an offline friend to Women of Faith. He’s stretching me and getting me out of my comfort zone. Because honestly, I’d rather hide behind my computer. I’d rather just sit here and write to some unknown person rather than put myself out there in person. I might be rejected. I might be made fun of. He’s working through it all. He’s working in me. He’s working in my offline friend, and He’s working in Patsy.

So enough of my rambling, tell me what you think. Do you do ministry online? offline? How do you even define ministry? Do you struggle with the balance?

| Filed Under: Personal

Arguing with God never works

By Lisa B on October 28, 2009

You would think I’d have learned by now, but arguing with God never works. Here’s my latest God story

I wanted to go to Women of Faith again this year — coming in a few weekends, but we don’t really have the money to spend for it. When Kaitlyn’s fundraiser was scheduled a few weekends before, I knew that was a much more important thing to do with our money than to go to WOF. So I really gave up on going this year. The thought had crossed my mind to volunteer — I’d gladly work doing whatever they ask, just so I could be there, but then hotel costs crept in mind.

During Sunday School, He hit me with it the first time. Tonya needs a break. She needs to go to Women of Faith.

“That’s nice God. Send her to Women of Faith then. I can’t pay for her to go, so what do you want me to do? Watch her kids?” Tonya is a single, stay at home mom of 4 boys. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. AND she doesn’t like to ask for help and won’t take it if you offer it. AND she’s been busting her tail the past few months not only taking care of her family, but organizing a class reunion for her mom and helping out a great deal with Kaitlyn’s fundraiser.

Ask Patsy for tickets.

{this is where the arguing started} “You’re kidding, right God? You want me to ask Patsy Clairmont for tickets to Women of Faith? I’m sure she has people ask her for stuff all the time. I don’t want to be like that God. Isn’t there another way? Can’t you just send me some money to buy the tickets?”

Ask Patsy for tickets.

“Well, what if she doesn’t have anyone else to watch her kids for her and she can’t go? I’ll talk to her best friend. If she says Tonya has someone to help with kids and thinks she’ll go with me (we don’t know each other very well!), then I’ll think about asking Patsy.” {trying to bargain never works either!}

Sunday morning I went out of my comfort zone totally. I walked up to Tonya’s best friend and mumbled something like “this is gonna sound crazy, but I feel God leading me to take Tonya to Women of Faith. Do you think she’d go? Would she have someone to keep her kids?” Of course her friend said she would love to keep the kids and do something nice for Tonya because she does so much for everyone else.

“Great God. She does have someone to watch her kids. Are you really sure about this? I feel really, really weird asking Patsy for tickets. What if she thinks I’m a crazy loon out to mooch freebies?”

Ask Patsy for tickets.

So I did. I asked. “Ok, God. It’s in your hands. If it’s your will for us to be there, then I trust that you will let Patsy know that too.”

This morning I got the message. Patsy’s got 2 tickets for me. God is so awesome! And you know what else? I was checking out hotel rooms for us to stay in and realized that Duck and I have enough reward points to cover one night — so we don’t have to pay for the hotel either. God just continues to blow me away!

Tonight at church I’m going to corner Tonya and make her go with me. Well, actually, I’m pretty sure God’s going to make her go with me I can’t make her do anything, but this is obviously God’s will! And if you happen to go to church with me, and happen to read this on Facebook before I get to church — SHHHH! It’s a secret