Dear Ms. Teacher,
I realize you are doing the best you can and perhaps your training is to blame. I know you are underpaid and I would not have your job. The system is failing us all. I’m not quite sure where it all went wrong. Granted I have not been in 4th grade in 26 years, but come on?
I need help understanding a few things. Why do you have the desks arranged in clusters? How is my daughter supposed to pay attention to you giving directions at the front of the class when her desk is facing another child’s desk? And, on top of that, there are 3 desks to her left - meaning those 3 children when looking straight ahead are staring at the side of my daughter’s head? How dare you write home to tell me my daughter fidgets and doesn’t pay attention when she isn’t even facing you in the class?
When I was in school, we sat in rows. No desks were touching. We all faced the front where the teacher taught. It was obvious when we peeked at other kids’ work, but we weren’t tempted nearly as much as kids today. Even if my daughter was looking straight down at her work, with another kid’s desk pushed next to hers, I would expect her to look up when that kid moved.
Our children live in a fast-paced world. They play video games instead of running outside. They are used to watching movies on demand and clicking through websites. More times than not, their dinners come from drive-thrus. When you stand up front and lecture the kids, are you keeping this fast-paced life in mind? Do you know what you need to say and say it directly? powerfully? Are you using all the tools available to you to hold their attention?
You do realize that school is not a group activity, right? It’s my daughter taking the test. It’s my daughter who needs to know the answers. So why do you put her in a group to do work? Is the smartest kid in the group supposed to teach the others? Isn’t that your job? How do you judge the work my daughter did in the group? Do you even know whether she spoke a word?
Changing classes has been interesting, but again there are a few things I don’t quite understand. Why is she not allowed to take her backpack with her? It would make sense to me that a backpack would help her carry her books and folders for that class, not to mention she wouldn’t forget things in the other class or forget to bring them home. And speaking of homework, she said she’s not allowed to take her homework folder to the other class. What’s up with that? What’s the purpose of a homework folder if you can’t put your homework from all your classes in it?
Further issues with homework include the word “study”. My daughter does not know how to study. Is that your job to teach her or mine? And for goodness sake, when you do tell her to study, give her some kind of sane study guide. Otherwise I have no idea what to drill her on. Realize that she probably wasn’t paying attention to you in class, and that studying at home is actually learning everything as if it was the first time she heard it. When you think a homework assignment should take 30 minutes, for us, chances are it’ll take 2 hours — and that’s just for the one subject you teach her.
Please don’t take this as being really negative or putting you down. I am trying to figure out what in the world you are thinking. I appreciate you trying to teach my daughter responsibility as we are working on those same issues at home. Tell me though, what’s her punishment for not turning in a paper? Grades mean absolutely nothing to my daughter right now. Threatening to fail her or have her repeat the grade doesn’t even mean anything to her. She doesn’t care. She hates school — well, except for recess.
What’s her punishment for forgetting a book in the other room? That she doesn’t have it with her to do her work during class? So what? That she has to do it as homework? That’s punishment for me not her. Give her the 2 minutes to go back to the other room and get her book. There’s a better chance she’ll pay attention in class.
Sending home a note half-way through the first quarter telling me she’s not paying attention, has poor classroom participation skills, and a messy desk is not helping. We have talked to her about doing better until we are blue like Smurfs. I’m not sure what you would like from us. Would it help if I came to school with her and made her pay attention to you? I surely hope not. Because the amount of stuff ya’ll expect them to learn at this age is ridiculous. I graduated college, and I put my time in. I’m not looking to do it again.
Hopefully we can come to some kind of understanding — maybe even develop a plan for educating my daughter. She really is a bright child. May I suggest starting with arranging all the desks in rows facing the front?
Signed,
A Very Frustrated Mom Blogger
PS. I know my dear friend, Julie, will be reading this shaking her head. Homeschool her. Homeschool her. Homeschool her. I hear ya Julie. I really do. I just don’t see that happening right now. Maybe soon the way things are going, but not right now.
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Wow…this was me last year with my 3nd grader. I’m very nervous for him this coming year. Every issue you said is what I’ve asked of Oldman’s teachers. And the answer I always get isn’t an answer: This is our teaching style. Really? Because that doesn’t seem to be working. This year, Oldman will be sharing a computer with another student most of the class. I don’t know if this will be better or worse. (Sidenote: From K-2nd they would sit him with a girl that has learn disabilities because he’s the only child that would help her. I didn’t know that until half way through the year last year. Put a stop to that immediately!)
Amen amen and amen….
Doodle and Sam are too much alike….
I’m still trying to figure out where it all went down hill…
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Oh Jenny’s comment reminded me. In her Language Arts class, they didn’t have enough books for every child to have one (the first one they are reading together as a class) and were sharing in class. Now, I *know* without a doubt that Doodle would not be paying attention at all — or reading the book. Too much temptation to be talking to the other kid — no matter who it was.
So, my solution? I bought extra copies of the book so everyone could have one. The kids may hate it because now they’ll have actual homework, but Doodle will learn better if she has her own book — and if Duck stays on top of her to read it
Well said, Baby Girl!!! Hope her teacher reads your blog.
Hm. As a former 3rd grade teacher, this is interesting to me. Have you asked the teacher these questions? Talked to her about how you, as a team, can help Doodle compensate?
Education has changed SO much from when I was teaching. But I have been pleased with our experience so far. I’m anxious about the upcoming year b/c my 5-year-old is starting kindergarten, and she’s quite distractable.
I’m not a fan of homeschooling, but I’d do it if I felt the school wasn’t meeting one of my child’s needs. But I’d go through all other channels (with teacher, etc) first, to try to make school work.
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Yeah, my boys’ classes are set up with the children cluttered together. Better yet, they don’t even have a desk, it’s just a table with chairs around it (1st grade). I’m very nervous about sending Michael back to school this year…he’ll be in the 6th grade…he was homeschooled for a year and a half.
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Hi Lisa. We are experiencing some of the same problems.
I am at the point of wanting to homeschool. I never thought I would hear myself say that. DH and I don’t agree on this point, though, so I’m still trudging through and hoping and praying for the best.
My daughter is in 2nd grade. In my mind, the expectations and requirements are too high.
Another thing that really bugs me, and I mean really sets me off, is that I think the kids are expected to act and be older than they really are.
For 2nd grade, they are 7 and 8. That’s just not that old. They are still small children, not little adults, and they shouldn’t be expected to act as such.
I don’t know the answer. I agree that I wouldn’t have the job. I know the teachers are overworked and underpaid. Still, my tax dollars go to support public schools of which my daughter attends.
I am not an uninvolved parent. I volunteer once per week, and I serve on the PTA board. I am in the school. I know the teachers, and I know the staff. Overall, my daughter goes to a very good school, but she is not happy, and neither am I.
I am trying to help her resolve issues. I try to support the teacher to my daughter. I try the very best I can not to be negative, but something is broken, and I don’t know how to fix it.
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