Happy 12th Anniversary to Me!

I wrote this last year on my anniversary. Just a tiny bit of my testimony…

You’re not losing your mind. It’s not my wedding anniversary. Eleven [twelve] years ago today, Howard and I visited Rose of Sharon looking for a church home and place to get married that following October. I grew up mostly in church. I knew some of the Bible stories everyone talks about. I believed Jesus was God’s son — born of a virgin, died on the cross and rose again. I also believed I could do just fine handling my life on my own. So while I might have died back then and gone to heaven, my life was a mess. I was getting ready to marry. I had told Howard I was saved (believing in Jesus and all I stated before), but when we were visiting churches — each sermon touched me. It’s kinda hard to describe to people who’ve never felt the Holy Spirit moving inside them, but think of it as chills running across your body.

I had wanted to respond — to walk down front — to tell the pastor I wanted to be sure Jesus was in my heart — that I not only wanted to go to heaven when I die, but that I wanted Jesus to help me in my everyday life. But what would Howard think? Would he think I lied to him? Would he still want to marry me? We visited Rose of Sharon during their revival. They had an evangelist, Bailey Smith, preaching there for 4 days. That Sunday morning, we walked into the church and sat down. We heard a tremendously clear sermon on the wheat and the tares (a parable from Matthew 13:24-30).

Did you know that on the outside wheat and tares look exactly the same? You cannot tell the difference from the outside. Only by breaking them open do you see the tares are empty. I knew I was a tare — I could play church with the best of them. I could answer everyone’s questions correctly — yes, I’m saved. Yes, I believe in Jesus. No, I don’t want to go to hell. But inside me, I was empty. I was trying to control everything myself.

During the prayer, I prayed that God would forgive me of my arrogance — that Jesus would come fill the hole inside me and help me get through my days. Every eye closed — every head bowed — the pastor asked for those who’d prayed that prayer to raise their hands. I raised my hand. It no longer mattered what Howard would think. Above all else, I needed to be right with God. The pastor commented, “thank you over here to my left — thank you God for this couple over to my right.” How so very cool I thought — that a couple were getting saved together.

When the pastor finished the prayer, he asked for those who’d raised their hands to come forward — to make it public that we’d prayed that prayer. I stepped out. Howard followed. I asked him where he was going — he said up front — he’d prayed that prayer too. Not knowing my left from the pastor’s right (being the same thing since he was facing us), I hadn’t realized the couple he mentioned — was Howard and I.

Happy Anniversary to you too Howard

God so richly blessed us that day and many, many days since then. I truly know if we had not prayed that prayer together, that day, that we would not be married today. God is the only one who can hold a  marriage together. Thank you God so very much for saving both of us, being involved in our everyday lives (when we’d let you), and growing our marriage to be stronger today than it ever has been.

It also did not escape me that this date was my Granny’s birthday. I thought it was appropriate that I was saved on this day. Granny had a Bible in her living room that she read every day. When I would stay the night with her, I’d pick it up and just read part of it. Granny had read the Bible all the way through once or twice. She was very sad when her eye sight went and she couldn’t read it any longer. She passed away 9 [10] years ago at the age of 87 — Can’t wait to see you in heaven Granny