I was almost afraid to write about She Speaks. There are so many of you who want to go, I’m afraid next year might be sold out before I can sign up again 
And yes, I do think I want to go again. I’m going to work on growing closer to God, and I know He’ll make it obvious to me whether I should be there or not. (The dates are July 31 - August 2, 2009 in case you want to mark it on your calendar!) If any P31 women are reading this, any chance of allowing more people to come next year? Scary thought — I know
I learned a lot after She Speaks ended. The fashion trip with Shari on Monday was amazing. That stuff will come in a separate post — I promise. I have been working on pulling all my old clothes out of the closet, seeing that most of them are not in my style (coloring or style), and packing them up for Good Will.
Duck came to meet me at the conference hotel Sunday afternoon as the conference was ending. We went out to eat lunch and I have to tell you, I missed my man. It was so good just to feel rested in his arms. He already knows I’m spacey sometimes. He already knows my faults, but he loves me anyway. I didn’t have to worry about anything around him. So it was just so good to see him.
In the busyness of life at home, we have a tendency to not talk — well, not talk about dreams, long-term goals, or deeper meaning stuff. Since we were staying the night in Concord in preparation for The Great Shopping Trip, we had the opportunity to soak in a whirlpool tub and talk. I don’t know why a whirlpool tub makes it better. Maybe it’s the bubbles that get us all relaxed and comfortable.
Duck is really a great listener. He listened to me ramble on about the conference, and I began to process much of what I had been through that weekend — and even before that weekend. Doodle had been invited to a birthday party a few weeks before. I went to “check in” on her at Chuck E. Cheese, but really I went to talk to the mom. Amanda is a beautiful, funny, grounded Christian woman. I love talking to her about anything and everything. I wish at times, that we were closer friends but I know that’s going to be difficult now — her kids are all going to a different school than Doodle.
Amanda and I were talking about the problem with parenting today. My standard response is that children need to be beat more (don’t get in an uproar — by beat, I just mean disciplined and yes, spanked). She made the point that we have gotten lazy in our parenting. We tell Jr. to stop doing that or I’m going to get up and come over there — except we never get up. Her points really hit home with me because they described me. I have been lazy with Doodle this past year. I haven’t made her pick up her stuff. I haven’t made her listen to me — or rather I haven’t made her suffer the consequences of not listening to me.
All of these things came out during our deep discussion. I told Duck I have been lazy for too long in not only parenting Doodle, but in my duties of keeping up the house as well. I asked him to forgive me, and although he didn’t think I was being all that lazy, he forgave me.
We talked about speaking in front of people — something that he has no problems doing. He loves to sing and sings well — that’s his talent. We talked about writing and some things he said really surprised me. He loves to read my blog because he gets to see a different side of me — well, not really a different side of me, but he gets to see inside my head more. He gets to see more of me than he normally would during a typical day.
One thing he said really hit home. I’ve been trying too hard to write for other people. He said when I write for myself, and don’t worry what others will think, I write a lot better. I have been worried too much about other people — what you want to read as opposed to what I want to tell you.
I took that to heart. This past week, all these updates on She Speaks have been totally for me. I want to remember. I’ve written what I wanted to write — what I’ve felt is the truth. I seriously had a battle going on as to whether or not I want to say that She Speaks wasn’t “all that and a bag of chips” for me. I mean, Lysa herself might read it! But it was the truth and not at all because of anything the P31 ladies did — it’s because I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have my quiet time like I know I should. It’s not a bad reflection on them. It’s a bad reflection on me.
So when you are writing on your blog, or maybe you’re just writing your story, remember to write for you and God. Don’t try to sound like BooMama, BigMama or even Lysa. Because you are unique, special, hand-picked by God to be you. No one else can write like you, think like you or be you. Here’s to being me {raising Coke can high in the air for a toast} and you being you!
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11 Comments
Awesome Lisa, I’m glad you got so much out of things. It sounds like to me you got “exactly” what God wanted you to get from She SPeaks.
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Awesome post!
Lisa;
Thank you for sharing about the She Speaks Conference. I have wanted to go for several years, but in all honesty, did not believe that I was worthy enough to go.
I especially want to thank you (and your husband!) for your comments about writing for other people vs writing for myself and God. I too, have been caught in the trap of writing to please or touch others when my gift is from God and the outcome is His. As of today, my blog (hisinvitation.com) will be written from my heart as His pencil.
I pray that you will continue to write and do whatever God has called you to do.
Be blessed,
Monica
Amen!
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Great post and I love the heart-deep honesty. It does truly strengthen your writing (as in the collective “your”, not “your” specifically) when you write your own perspective, ideas, and personality.
I am also struggling with the daily commitment to dig deeply into God’s word. I do believe that God had a purpose for each of us to be at that conference, even if we aren’t perfect. I came away with a peace about starting small and building - always building. In fact, I am *not* taking my laptop with me on vacation though I had planned to until just this moment. I’m taking my Bible and a notepad instead. I’m eager to see what God is going to do with this time.
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hugs… this is so true… i think we all get caught up in it… writing for others… writing what they want to hear and not what we want to say… i know that i am guilty…
but duck is right…
the past few posts that have been what YOU wanted to say have stood out.. 
and you’re blessing people… 
like me… over and over again…. 
and shoot me your address… i have a postcard for you…
I can’t wait to see your pictures from your shopping time with Shari! I would love to go shopping with her! I have her color swatches and need to order her book, she really knows her stuff!
What a treat it was to visit your blog! You’re a great writer! I laughed so much and I love to laugh!!
I just have to say…you have some great names in your family…Duck and Doodle. I don’t think I’ve ever come across those two names before! When I first read about Duck, I thought you were talking about a duck. You know, the kind that goes…quack-quack! But then again, I’ve been called “slow” a time or two in my life. While I can be “slow” at times, at least I eventually get it! Otherwise there would be cause to worry.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m so glad I visited you! I’ll be back!
blessings,
Micca
Girl - you are an amazing lady, deeper than most of the girls I have run across, more beautiful than most. I wish you had an inkling of just how great you are.
Be strong for Callie - it is a hard road to travel, but the world will thank you later for raising a confident, self controlled, young Christian lady. Remember that your role with her is as a mother, not her buddy. I think that it hard with an only child. My mom was my only playmate a lot of days, so that confused me… how could we play Barbies one minute then her spank my tail the next?
As for our girls going to different schools… most of the ladies I hang out with are not moms at my kids’ schools if they even have kids at all… so forget that excuse! If we want to get together we have to make it a priority. I find that I have to carve time for myself otherwise the laundry, cleaning, kids, and other “necessary” things will overtake me… so, call me or email me and let’s get together!
Lisa,
Thanks for this post. It mirrors so much of what I think and have experienced…so much so it’s kind of spooky! And I, like you, have a wonderful, supportive husband who is such a great listener.
“He already knows my faults, but he loves me anyway.” Amen to that! How very blessed we are.
As far as the writing, keep digging deep! One of the lessons I learned from She Speaks is that we need to remember to write for His glory, not ours…or the praise of others.
Enjoy your 4th. I hope y’all get some time to live in the scenery on your Harleys!
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Wow, Lisa, I think you’re really neat. You have a deepness (that might not be a word) that is really worthy to read. I appreciate your honesty about everything. Sometimes I just want to write about some random thing and lately I’ve been doing that and yet I feel guilty about not writing fashion stuff…probably there’s a balance I can do. So thank you for that freedom. I love knowing you. love, Shari