Shannon @ Rocks In My Dryer had a post earlier today entitled “What Would You Do?” This post details a recent shopping trip where Shannon saw a woman (parking beside her) who had her infant in a rear-facing car seat in the front seat. {Boy does Shannon ever know how to start a conversation on her blog!} Her question was, would you say anything to the woman about the car seat being in the front?My reaction was no, I would not say anything to the woman. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it. Most people seem to get recommendations and laws confused. Some thought it was illegal for rear-facing car seats to be in the front, when in fact, it’s just not recommended — and that’s because of passenger-side airbags. Now if you can turn off the airbag, then it’s safer, but most everyone agrees it is safer for the child to be in the middle of the back seat. Your first impression may be that this woman was a total idiot for putting her child in the front seat, but you don’t know anything about her or why she chose to do that.
Some people who left comments for Shannon say they would’ve said something. I’d venture to say that if they had said something to this mother, it would not have made any difference to the mother. The only thing it that would be accomplished is that the person who said something “feels better.”
To make a real change in this mother’s life would take a great deal of time — more time than just spouting off a few sentences about how “you must be an idiot for putting that car seat in the front” (no matter how nice you put it!). If you are truly concerned about this child, get to know the mother. Befriend her. Find out what’s going on in her life. Find out what’s going on in her heart. Maybe she’s really struggling with the change of becoming a mother. Maybe she doesn’t have anyone to talk to. After you find out what’s at the heart of the matter, then you can offer advice — advice that might be received better than just coming from a complete stranger.
It’s really easy to pass judgment on others. The hard part is getting involved to the point where it will make a difference.
