Reasons I should be Best Mom/Wife of the Year

Moms Blogging is still looking for the Meanest Mom. I don’t think any of the reasons I’m going to list here make me the meanest mom, but we’ll see.

1. I am the Queen of Shrink — no, I should rephrase that. I’m the Queen of Laundry. If my husband’s missing clothes (say the all important clean pair of underwear), he says a little prayer as he walks to the laundry room. He’s praying that at least the piece he’s looking for made it into the dryer from the washer AND that it’s dry. Even if it is wrinkly. He’s asked me repeatedly not to dry several of his shirts — and honestly I do try to pull all of them out of the washer, but sometimes — ok, most of the time, I miss one or two or three. I still don’t see how you can just do laundry.
2. I am the Queen of the House.  For the past 2 days it’s actually felt like fall outside. So we’ve been walking around freezing our booties off. This morning I get the bright idea to look at the thermostat — after all, the thermostat should have been set to auto — which means if it gets higher than a certain temperature, the air comes on; if it gets below a certain temperature, the heat comes on. Guess what? It was on COOL. I flipped it to auto and the heat came on. It’s feeling much better around here now. Maybe that’s why Duck’s and Doodle’s noses have been stopped up.
3. I am the Queen of the Kitchen. No…seriously…wait…I can’t stop laughing at that one. Ok, the only reason I typically go into the kitchen is to grab a can of Coke. Doodle doesn’t like to eat breakfast and her class has to eat lunch so awfully early in the morning (like 10:30), that I don’t typically push her to eat. Yesterday morning she yells down the hall, “Mom, sure would be nice if you brought me some breakfast!” My daughter, the Hinter. I took her some yogurt which she wasn’t really happy about, but she ate. This morning however, I only had 1 yogurt left and that was for her lunch. So what did I give her to eat? Reece Cups. Yep. Shoot me now and put “Best Mom” on my headstone.
4. I am the Queen of the Sewing Machine. Everyone knows Halloween is tomorrow. Doodle wants to be a white coyote or a white wolf depending on the mood she’s in when you ask her. Do you know how extremely hard it is to find white sweat clothes? or white pants? Ack. There goes the easy way to do a costume. So last Friday I go to the craft store, find a pattern, and manage to get all the stuff (ok, most of the stuff) needed to make her costume. Did I mention I don’t know how to sew? Well, I’m sewing curtains for Doodle’s room — but I’m taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r to do it — and besides that’s only straight stitching. I got the pattern home and pulled out the innards. I freaked. No, seriously, I FREAKED! I called my mom and asked her ever so nicely to sew it for me She finished it yesterday and it looks really cool (pictures to come later this week). So see, I can’t nominate my mom for meanest mom — because she just continues to save my butt when I get delusional and think I can do this stuff!

So Meanest Mom? Nah, don’t think so. These are just a few of the reasons I should be named the Best Mom/Wife of the Year — or probably more appropriately Worst Mom/Wife of the Year — or maybe Stupidest Mom/Wife of the Year. But hey, I’m trying — to which My Genius Better Half says, “you are such a helpmate to me, but I really don’t need help right now.” It always seems when I try I mess things up superbly