There God. I said it. Actually, I wrote it. Who knew it would take me years to be able to say that?
When I was first saved in 1996 (11 years ago), I wanted so desperately for God to tell me exactly what He wanted me to do for my ministry — especially in the church. I mean, Howard can sing, so was I to learn how to sing with him? Was I supposed to be a teacher? If I was supposed to be a teacher, do I teach kids? teenagers? adults? Do I learn how to cook so I can work in the kitchen? These are but a few of the things running through my head.
On a quest to find out what my spiritual gifts are, I realized what they are, but not how I was to apply them. They weren’t specific enough 🙂 For example, one of the spiritual gifts is teaching (being able to communicate God’s Word in such a way that others can learn and apply the truths to their own life). All those spiritual gifts surveys never told me who I was to teach. I often felt like I was back where I started. I tried teaching a few Sunday School classes, and while I don’t think I totally stunk, I also realized I couldn’t do that every week.
About 3 years ago, I felt God telling me to write. It wasn’t a loud audible voice. It was a quiet little nagging inside. I argued with God. “Are you sure you’ve got the right girl? I mean, I really, really struggled in English classes. I remember reading The Great Gatsby and I was simply amazed at all the stuff the teacher pulled out of it as deeper meaning. Seriously God, who would want to read what I write?”
I continued along my own path until a few months ago. I have been trying to work from home for 7 years. All I wanted to do was bring in a little money to help pay some bills. I have struggled and struggled with what I should do in that business and have flipped and flopped every which way. I’ve gone from web hosting to web design to virtual assistance. Finally in December I started praying for me to figure out how to get more of God in my business.
Over the past few months, God’s worked amazing miracles in my life and the lives of those around me. I decided to stop running a business to which God responded with a new job for Howard and an increase in pay that was more than what I was trying to bring in to help with bills. I decided to announce to everyone my plans for becoming a Biblical Coach to which God responded — don’t coach. Write. Teach through your writing. In announcing my plans though, it opened the door for me to have conversations with Heather, to give her a safe place to ask whatever came to her mind, and to give her Godly, Biblical advice.
A few days after making the decision to write, I ran into a mom-friend at school. We hadn’t spoken to each other much this year because our daughters were not in the same class. She asked how I was doing, to which I shared God is calling me to write — to not worry about who’s going to read it — and just to write. Her friend at church, whom she’d talked to just that morning, leads a Christian Writer’s Group. She got me in touch with her friend and I went to the meeting. God has so blessed me since I made the decision to follow His lead.
So God, I’m putting it out here for all the Internet World to see. I am a writer. If you ask me what I write, I’ll tell you I write whatever God tells me to write. In my heart I know if my writing blesses just one person in this world, it’s entirely worth it. After all, if you were the only person on this earth, Jesus still would’ve died on the cross for you — and writing isn’t nearly that painful for me 🙂
I am a writer…I am a writer…I am a writer. (I’ve still gotta get used to saying it!)