My share of excuses

I’m tired.

I can’t think straight.

I haven’t been journaling.

My quiet time is non-existent.

Yep. Those are my share of excuses. I know I’m a better writer when I can write my morning pages. It gets my negative inner critic out of my head and onto paper. Then I can see how really wrong she is.

But … I’m tired and I can’t think straight. Like really, scary, crooked thoughts.

Like I should order this book and I look over and it’s in my pile to be read.

Like how did Facebook know yesterday was my anniversary and pull a picture and wish me a happy anniversary — when it was really Duck who posted it under my account because he doesn’t have one.

Like I’m kinda scared to do anything for work in case I mess something else up royally.

So, instead of making yet another excuse, I went ahead and wrote this out. I will probably look at it tomorrow and realize how crazy it all sounds. But at least I wrote.

And then life happens …

What happens when you have a mountain-top experience with God and then you come back home with the best of intentions?

Life Happens.

You get sick. Your husband gets sick. Your child gets sick.

Work deadlines loom.

You are ok for awhile because you had prepared yourself mentally. You are smart. You know that your dream isn’t going to happen in a week or even two.

And then God wakes you up at 3am and won’t let you go back to sleep.

Your mind races. All of the work you need to do. The family stuff you need to do. All of the dream chasing you need to do.

Then you remember why you named your blog simply His. Because most days that’s all you need to do — remember that you are simply His. He loves you. And He’s got this!

So now that you’ve written on your blog like you know He’s called you to do, maybe — just maybe — you can go back to sleep.

Called Out

Friday night at the P31 OBS Retreat, Melissa talked about Dream Killers and asked us to write our dream on an index card.

I refused.

I knew my God-sized dream was to write. I didn’t need to write it down.

After the session, Shelly looks me straight in the eyes and says, “so what’s your dream?”

I proceeded to give her my standard response … I feel God called me to write — not anything like a book — but just on my blog.

Saturday at lunch, Nicki turns to me and says “Lisa B, do you have a book inside you?”

And I couldn’t not say yes.

I tried to lessen the dream God’s given me. And He called me out.

Thanks Nicki, Shelly, Melissa and Lisa A for letting God speak through you this weekend.

Dream Killer

I had a dream.

I wanted to be a writer. I was a writer. I wrote on this blog.

And then I went to a conference for writers. Some of the other blog writers I had been friends with only online, I got to meet in person.

But they were chosen. I was not.

So I stopped writing. Disenchanted. Envious.

Why were they chosen and I was not? No one needs to hear my story. There’s someone else out there that can tell it and probably tell it better than me.

Dream Killer. That’s me.

Some people say that they can’t not write. To which I laugh and say I’ve been doing a pretty good job of ignoring God for several years now.

This weekend as I listened to Melissa Taylor talk about Dream Killers and Lisa Allen talk about The Rhythm of a Dream, I’m starting to wake up now.

I have a dream.

I want to be a writer. I am a writer. I am writing on this blog.

So this is me … being a Dream Killer Killer … No more killing my dreams. No more listening to the negative thoughts.

I am a writer. I just need to write.

{Special thanks to Shelly for pulling this out of me. Now send me your blog login information so I can fix it!}

RIP Sugar Boyd

The bedroom seems painfully quiet. We miss her snoring…her breathing…even her pooting.

Around Christmas 2008, it was the first time we saw her in our neighbor’s yard. Roaming free around the neighborhood and scared to come close to anyone, she kept her distance from him. Duck built her a dog house…not just any dog house…one with double walls, insulation and a light to keep warm.

Sugar2009

He’d watch out of the window to see if she went in. He lured her in with food, water and a bed. She stayed safe and warm during the snows that winter, and she found a place in our hearts.

I went to talk to my neighbor one afternoon — hoping she would say “take Sugar” but that didn’t happen. Sugar had found a place in her heart as well, even if she couldn’t keep her inside. “We love her too, so if you ever need any help with her, please just let us know.”

The knock on the door came a few months later. Another neighbor had threatened to call Animal Services because Sugar was running loose. In March 2009, she became an inside dog :)

Over the last 4.5 years we’ve had her, she trained us well. She would sit on the back deck and bark once — a special bark — and Duck would go running to let her in. She would follow us around when she knew we had food, knowing we couldn’t resist her big brown eyes. She’d even jump up and catch a chicken nugget in mid-air. You’d have to be careful wearing shorts around her too because she loved to give kisses. Anywhere she saw bare skin got a lick. She would sleep next to the front door to be sure she didn’t miss us when we came home.

SugarFletcher

I never once saw her get angry or mean or growl. Not even when the cat would come in and paw at her face, or when Fletcher tried to hump her head :)

She had the spirit of a lap dog in a big girl body. She was the sweetest, most loyal dog. We will miss you Sugar!

Sugar

2 Milestones Within 24 Hours

Yesterday my yard was invaded by pink flamingos…

me40mingos

40th Birthday Pink Flamingos

Also, my wonderful Mother posted pictures on Facebook…

Me

Wasn’t I cute? Ha!

So I turn 40 yesterday and then today I put my baby (ok she’s 13 now) on a bus to go on her first school field trip without me — a multiple-overnight field trip.

Two milestones within 24 hours. Prayers for Duck are needed in case I lose it! :)

God is just showing off now.

Yesterday Doodle and I went to a store. Before we made it inside, we were approached by a lady asking for money. I normally don’t give money to people who ask like that, but I thought I had a few dollars and could spare that. When I looked in my wallet though, I only had a ten dollar bill.

I handed that over to the lady and she said “God bless you.” Thoughts started running through my head about what I should have said to her – ask her if she truly knows God or if that’s just something she thinks sounds nice. Then I started beating myself up for giving away that much money like that. We just found out that we owe a lot in taxes and have other bills coming up. Hadn’t I just been thinking we need to be more careful with our money?

I said a quick prayer for her that God wouldn’t let her do anything bad with the money and that He would use it to bless her that she might know Him. Then I let it go.

This morning I stopped for gas. The pump wouldn’t take my card like normal – it just said “Remove nozzle.” I figured the credit card part was broken and I would just need to pay inside. So I pumped the gas. It stopped at $10 and wouldn’t go further. I went inside to pay for that and then come back and fill up. The cashier said that a man had just prepaid for $10 on that pump and must have left without actually pumping the gas.

I smiled as I walked outside because I knew God was just showing off. When I’ve been listening to the radio and praying for what happened in Boston, God is still watching me and with me. Sometimes I forget that He’s big enough that He’s everywhere and not just with those going through a crisis.